21 August 2011

I just don't know...

...what to write that is. I seem to be in a void as of late. I'm not writing anything here. I'm not writing anything on Facebook. I missed this months 12 of 12. I'm not even that much interested in the Internet except to check my email and I don't even get that many emails. Of course that could be because I don't send that many emails to anyone else. I wish I knew what my problem is. I am not depressed but I'm as they say just "flat". I got nothin'.

It seems my biggest accomplishment every day is my walk. I've been walking as part of my weight loss regime but even that has come to a halt. I lost 13 kilos (29 ponds), but even that has stopped I need to lose at least 10 more kilos but it's just not happening. I go for a two hour walk everyday. I walk down onto the city and walk through the shopping mall looking at all the things I want but can't afford to buy. I've been looking for work but I can't even get a part-time job selling bed linens to old blue-haired women. When I say part time, I mean casual work filling in when some one calls in sick or they just need an extra hand for the day. It's far from a permanent job and as I said I can't even get that. I suppose maybe I am a bit depressed.

I shouldn't be depressed. I mean I live in a beautiful part of the world. I have a very loving, giving and caring husband, that has stayed with me for almost 13 years. I really want for nothing. Sure, there are things that I would like to have but, nothing I really need. We have a nice place here in the city and a home that we rent out in another place in another city. Both of them are paid for so I'll always have a roof over my head. So why am I whining. Once again I don't even know what to say.

I've got to figure this out but I'm not sure where to even begin. So, I guess I'll get ready for my walk and I'll think about what and where to from here because I'm really tired at being at a loss for words as well as at a loss for what/where my life is headed. Wish me luck...

1 comment:

Ur-spo said...

May I suggest you keep walking, regardless? Don't wait to figure this out.

BTW - most people with depression have 'nothing the matter' to bring it on. So don't fret so much of how it happened but focus on what to do about it.