29 December 2007
26 December 2007
These next items are called Whipping Tops and they will actually spin like a top but I'm not comfortable doing such in case the accidentally break as things do.
21 December 2007
17 December 2007
This drug like many of the medications they use to treat this type of pain are the same medications they use for people with epilepsy. The medications interrupt certain nerve patterns and attempt to either bypass the nerves that are not working properly, fill a chemical void that is lacking, or something like that it all starts to get a bit confusing.
So, I started on this drug called Epilum (Valpro 200 is the other name) and it's the type of drug you have to dose up to a certain level before it works properly. What I mean is you start by taking one pill twice a day for a week then go to two pills twice a day and then three pills twice a day until you reach maximum level, which for me was three pills twice a day because I'm already taking another anti-epileptic medication and the two would clash after a certain level. I was almost at the end of the second week, Thursday to be exact and it went a bit pear shaped (translates to went all wrong). During the first week I was taking the new drug I wasn't sure if anything was wrong. I'm used to taking medications and quite used to taking new ones as of recent. A lot of times when you first start you may get a funny feeling in your stomach or head etc. but it usually passes. The thing I was feeling was stomach related, a bit of reflux and at time a bit of trouble swallowing but nothing weird as I've had that trouble before, which is another story (and get your minds out of the gutter). If you really want to know write to me and I'll explain that one to you.
Anyway where was I? Oh yes, reflux. I told James about it on Wednesday of the second week and told him that the next time it happened I would let him know so he could see what was happening. Well it happened during dinner on Thursday night and James said it looked like a swallowing issue opposed to a breathing issue. Well within minutes of that happening it started to escalate. I got to the point where I felt like I was drowning. I could not breathe or to be more exact I felt like I couldn't get enough air. To add to the problem I started to panic which added some anxiety to the mix. Okay a lot of anxiety. Needless to say James called the ambulance.
I was taken to the Emergency Room, which was fun as I got to ride in the ambulance. Okay I'll be serious so down a the ER it's good that James works there as you get a few strings pulled and I was seen right away not to mention I was not breathing. I did tell you I wasn't breathing right? Oh right serious, it turns out after 7 hours in the ER, numerous blood tests, x-rays, a urine sample and so on the conclusion was that I was having a reaction to the new drug. Even I almost had that one figured out but you're supposed to follow the rules and do all that other stuff just to make sure. I also learned a new medical term for my emergency condition and it's called "Air hunger".
So I've decide, with much deliberation (NOT) that I don't want to take that drug anymore. I am seeing the specialist again on the 15th of January at which time they will also be doing an MRI to look for possible bone degeneration in my spinal column which would possibly increase the nerve malfunction in my feet opposed to causing the problem itself. If they find said degeneration I have no idea what we do from there but all shall be revealed. Until then I just keep moving forward. So what did you do last Thursday?
(And to anyone in my family reading this, know that I'm fine and that if anything really bad were to happen James would call you. This was not that bad. Well depends on what side of the fence you were standing)
16 December 2007
12 December 2007
11 December 2007
The man came out and played for two and a half hours with no breaks except for a little audience interaction and a swig of water every now and then and by golly he played some damn good music. He played them all from Your Song, Bennie and the Jets, Candle in the Wind, Philadelphia Freedom, Electricity (from Billy Elliot the Musical which he wrote all the music), to Daniel and so many more. All I can say is we had the best night I've had in a long time.
Elton, oh sorry EJ, was one of those performs that for some reason I just never got to see, and I don't know why. I mean in me era of going to concerts which was when I was young (and for you younger reader believe me that was along time ago) I saw all the biggies (well biggies of the time). I'm talking The Rolling Stones, Fleetwood Mac, Yes, Led Zeplin, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsten, Jethro Tull, Heart, Crosby Stills and Nash, Paul McCartney and Wings and so on and so on etc, etc., etc. You get the message. I went to a lot of concerts. Ah those were the days, good times, good times. Anyway back to my point, I just never got around to seeing EJ. Well I finally did and as I said I could not be any happier to have seen the man at his best. You know your good when you are brave enough to get up in front of 15,000 people and just hope you don't make a mistake because there is nothing there to cover it up I'm pleased to say there were no mistakes. The only mistake would have been if I had not gone.
10 December 2007
7 December 2007
6 December 2007
3 December 2007
28 November 2007
23 November 2007
21 November 2007
15 November 2007
(One of two peony's. The other is red)
(This poor little one was on such a short stem and it was caught under two other stems I just had to save it. The rest of the buds on this bush are fine just not blooming)
13 November 2007
We met our friend Moys on Wednesday afternoon at the airport as she flew in from New Zealand. We head straight to the hotel and then straight out for the first of many walks (the only down side with the walks is that the longer I walk the more my neuropathy acts up but that's another topic). After having a bite to eat, which turned out to be the worst meal and part of the whole trip, (If you are ever in Melbourne never eat here) we headed over to the casino to loose a few dollars. I actually walked out with $150.00, so all was not lost.
Thursday was officially b-day for both myself and Moys so it was started with a nice breakfast and then shopping. Moys bought a few blouses and odds and ends. James and I bought some new cologne we also almost bought one of the private blends from this same group but it was a bit pricey and I told James that it could wait. However, Christmas is coming so just maybe??? Oh and I got another pair of underwear because you can never have enough good underwear and because we can't get that brand here in Hobart. Then it was back to the hotel for a rest pre-dinner and show. We ate dinner at Box on Collins and it was excellent and SO much better than the night previous. As for the show all I can say was FANTABULOUS!!! I mean seriously if this show goes to the West End or better yet makes it to Broadway like Mamma Mia did. You will have to go see it. The costumes alone were worth the price. I would be willing to see the show again in a heart beat.
Friday was spent on a little more shopping and more good food. That afternoon we headed to the botanical gardens so I could take some pictures with my new camera. (you'll see my first efforts soon). Friday night found us back at the casino for dinner and again a bit of a gamble on the pokies. I again came out ahead unfortunately for James and Moys Lady luck was not on their side. Saturday we headed out to St. Kilda for a look around. We had breakfast by the beach and of course a bit of more shopping, what else. After we were all shopped out we headed back into town and made reservations at the restaurant we ate the night of the show. Once again the dinner was exceptional and even a bit better because we didn't feel rushed like we did the night we ate there before the show even if the theatre is right next door.
We had and early start on Sunday. Our flight was at 8:25 in the morning and Moys flew out at 11:30 so we packed Saturday night after dinner and then headed to the airport bright and early we said our goodbyes and a wonderful, loving, happy time was had by all! We arrived back home around 10:00 and life goes on. As I said I'll have the pictures up shortly, as soon as they are up I'll let you know. Enjoy...
7 November 2007
We're going to Melbourne for a few days to shop and have a good time. We are meeting a good friend there who also shares the same b-day as me. Life is good and I intend to keep it that way. See you when we get back.
Oh BTW, I got this a few days early for my B-day so I could take it with me to Melbourne... look here
6 November 2007
Quote of the day
"The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes."
Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)
Word of the day
woolgathering \WOOL-gath-(uh)-ring\, noun:Indulgence in idle daydreaming
1 November 2007
31 October 2007
28 October 2007
1. Taken a picture completely naked? I don't think I was completely naked but they were. Just kidding but I'm positive I wasn't unless you count the time in answer # 41.
2. Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page? No I don't even have a MySpace/Facebook page.
3. Danced in front of your mirror naked? Sure doesn't everybody?
4. Told a lie? Maybe once, I mean doesn't everybody? Twice now see I did it again.
5. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes but learned to let it go but at least I had sex with them before I let go.
6. Been arrested? Yes, I was young and foolish.
7. Made out with someone of the same sex? You do know I'm gay right?
8. Seen someone die? Yes, one time to many and I loved them both very much
9. Slept in until 5pm? Not unless I was sick. Oh wait there was that time see # 37
10. Had sex at work? I think I'm going to go with "No comment"
11. Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes at work but it was only a little power nap. That's what I told my boss
12. Held a snake? Hell to the no! I can't even watch them on the television.
13. Ran a red light? Not on purpose
14. Been suspended from school? No.
15. Totalled your car in an accident? Yes and this one is not related to #37.
16. Pole danced? No.
17. Smoked? Yes, for way longer than I want to admit but finally stopped. I still get cravings especially when I'm stressed.
18. Been fired from a job? Yes but it wasn't my fault...really!
19. Sang karaoke? I would not do that to my cat so why would I do it in front of people?
20. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Oh please, where would you like me to start?
21. Laughed until a drink came out your nose? Yes and it still isn't funny.
22. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes and thank God it was during a blizzard because I would have never caught the damn thing.
23. Kissed in the rain? Yes and it was very sexy.
24. Sang in the shower? No see # 19.
25. Given your private parts a nickname? If that's what it takes I'll call them what ever you want :) and I probably would anyway because they have been very good to me.
26. Ever gone out without underwear? I did all the time when I was younger but sadly not any more it's just not the same.
27. Sat on a roof top? Not that I can remember
28. Played chicken? No, I've greased up a turkey but that's a different story.
29. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes see # 37.
30. Broken a bone? Nope.
31. Mooned/flashed someone? Does streaking while drunk and foolish count or how about drunk and foolish while trying to pick up a date in a bar? Not that I have done that but just wondering if it counts.
32. Shaved your head? Yes, and I will not make that mistake twice
33. Slept naked? Every night and every night I pray to God there isn't a fire because that would be cruel and unfair to our neighbours.
34. Played a prank on someone? Sure isn't that why we have friends?
35. Had a gym membership? Yes, twice and it felt good saying I had one but no one believed me. I mean you have seen me right?
36. Cried over someone you were in love with? See # 8.
37. Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? I try to forget that time in my life and surprisingly enough it was pretty easy especially during that period.
38. Had sex today? Not yet.
39. Played strip poker? No.
40. Donated Blood? No and couldn't if someones life depended on it, sorry but it's not my rules
41. Video taped yourself having sex? Once again I was young and foolish and it was during that same period as # 37. I'm sure I destroyed that tape, I think???
42. Eaten alligator meat? Yes and it does taste like chicken but tougher.
43. Ever jump out of an airplane? Why would I do that? Of course it could have happened during that time in # 37.
44. Have you been to more than 10 countries? Lets see, Japan, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Mexico...nope guess not.
45. Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Yes and it should have stopped right there because let me tell you..oh umm...hmm...never mind.
24 October 2007
This rose is in the front garden growing on an arch trellis. It has a slight fragrance and if I had to guess I'd say the bush it came from is between 10-20 years old. The bloom itself is as big as my open hand.
(Update: I know it looks like I'm obsessing but I'm really not. Anyway, just to prove my point about how big the bloom is I measured the width of this bloom and it measures 6 inches across. It's huge! Hmmm where have I heard that before)
Next up this rose with it's lovely violet colouring comes from the back yard and is from the bush that we believe to be at least 50 years old. The fragrance from this rose is amazing and these two roses alone can fill the room with their fragrance.
23 October 2007
20 October 2007
- Favourite Comedy: Kath and Kim
- Favourite Drama: Boston Legal
- Favourite Reality: Project Runway
- Favourite Mystery: Prime Suspect
- Favourite Animated: The Family Guy
- Favourite Talk Show: The Ellen Degeneres Show
- Favourite Show That Ended Too Soon: Rome
- Favourite New Show: Pushing Daisies
What are your favourites?
18 October 2007
Now I use my old iPod constantly and it is completely full, in fact I have to constantly take music off to add new music (recently the new Annie Lennox and the new Joni Mitchell). I would definitely use the bigger iPod but as it stands the old one works fine except for the musical chairs I have to play with the content. The new camera on the other hand would be a completely new experience. I love taking photographs but I have never had a professional camera and this digital would be as close as I would get to having a professional camera. I would be very interested in taking some photography classes, because I would have to learn how to use it properly. The whole picture taking thing would be a hobby as I'm sure I would never be good enough to sell any of my photos and that would not be my intent from the start. I wouldn't say no if some one suddenly wanted to buy a photo that I took but I'm not going to actively pursue that thought process.
So the question stands what should I get the iPod or the camera?
14 October 2007
10 October 2007
8 October 2007
Anyway, there you have it, a quick insight into where we sleep. Enjoy...
4 October 2007
You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie
Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting.
You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!
29 September 2007
I came out to my parents in 1981 and for a short time our relationship became strained. We were both trying to come to terms with my coming out, both for very different reasons. At one point I did not speak to my parents for almost two years. Things started to get better slowly and with some concerted effort and a little time to breathe we began to start talking again. I came down with the flu in the fall of 1985. I thought maybe it would pass like any cold or flu, but for some reason it just kept hanging around. I wasn't throwing up and febrile all the time during those four weeks but I knew it was not normal to feel this way for so long. I just could not shake this flu off.
I was working as the General Manager of a local restaurant and putting in around 55 - 65 hours a week. The company I worked for had no health plan, so I could not afford to see a doctor. At the time I got sick the relationship with my parents had gotten better and we had come to a comfortable place. They did not like the fact that I was gay, but they learned that I was still their son just as I always had been, and would continue to be. I promised not to be too "gay" when I visited them as long as they tried to start to understand where I was coming from and give my the benefit of the doubt.
Anyway, my mom has worked for doctors all her life, and actually just recently stopped working but that's another story. I made a call to her one day while she was working and explained that I really needed to see a doctor and asked her if I could see the family doctor. Our family doctor for whom my mother worked for at the time had known our family for over 25 years, but he did not know that I was gay. I told my mom about having this flu and the fact that it just would let go and also suggested that I should probably be tested for HIV. The world was just really starting to talk about HIV/AIDS awareness back in 1985, and I was in a high-risk category. Mom at first disagreed because in asking for an HIV test I would have to disclose my lifestyle to the doctor. At the same time my mom knew I needed to see the doctor because we had to get a handle on whatever was wrong with me. I think at that point my mother had two problems. First, she still didn't want a lot of people to know that I was gay and secondly and most of all I think she did not want to find out the truth that I might be HIV positive. I didn't really want to find that out either. I ended up seeing the doctor without mentioning anything about HIV or about me being gay. The doctor did some routine blood test but not the test for HIV. He started me on some broad spectrum antibiotics to treat my symptoms, but I never really got better.
I kept having to see the doctor on and off every few weeks until April of 1986 and during that time he ran all sorts of test. In fact just about every test except the one for HIV. By April 1986 I had changed jobs and was now working as a manager for a major retail chain, working up to 65+ hours a week. I continued to be fatigued and I was losing weight faster than I could eat. I had also just started my second year of what would end up to be a four year relationship that wasn't going well and would end abruptly, so needless to say stress levels were very high. I decided to tell my mother that this had gone too far and that I really needed to be tested for HIV and that if she didn't want the family doctor to know then I would go to the clinic and have the test run, but I needed to know! My mom said she would rather see the family doctor than going to a clinic, so I did. When I saw the doctor I told him about my lifestyle and about my life in general. I also told him that there was a good chance that I could have been exposed to the virus. He was furious, not because of my lifestyle but because I had not told him earlier, in his eyes we had just wasted six months of my life when we could have tried treating my symptoms from another angle. Although treating HIV was harder then, than it is now, we still could have been doing other things to try and make me feel better. We decided to run the test!
Two weeks passed and finally late one afternoon, on a day that I luckily had off from work, the doctor called and told me he needed to see me in the office first thing in the morning. I don't claim to know everything, but at that point I knew what he had to say, and it would have to wait until the morning. The next day I was at the doctor's office bright and early. My mom was at work and she was in a good mood (I later found out that the doctor had not talked my mother until he talked to me, which is the professional and ethical way, even though as I said our families had been very close). So, I sat in the exam room, you know those cold sterile little rooms, waiting to hear the results of the test, and I already knew the answer. When the doctor came in the first thing he did was shake my hand and asked me how I was feeling. I told him I had been feeling better but not quite up to par yet. Then he said it "Tony the test came back positive." Reality hit I was HIV positive and I started to cry.
Now remember it was 1986 and at that time finding out you were HIV+ was death sentence. Like so many of my friends I didn't know where to begin in relation to what to do next. The biggest thought in my mind was how long would I have before the virus won. Of course the doctor couldn't answer that question, but at that time the thought process was that at most I would have probably five years if I was really lucky. I resigned my self to that fact and started to think what I really needed to do from that point. I never knew that in the end I would be able to say that in a little over a month from now, 2007, I will reach my 50th birthday. Unlike many I am excited to turn 50 and I'm extremely proud of what I have accomplished. I look forward to many more years but I never have and never will take for granted all the years that I have been afforded. Who knew...
28 September 2007
While I was there we went ahead and did the entire exam dilating pupils and all. This time the exam included imaging of the eyes on the inside. What they do is take a snapshot of your inner eye so as to make a reference point on the health of your eyes as a whole. The photos are useful as they can then compare to photos that will be taken on subsequent check-ups. Anyway, the eye doctor said that my eyes were in good shape from a medical perspective which is important especially for people with HIV. With all the trouble I'm having with the peripheral neuropathy in my feet I was glad to know that the only thing wrong with my eyes are just normal old age wear and tear.
So in a week or so I will have my newest set of glasses and I will share them with you to see what you think. This time I got transition lenses that will be great for going outside in the sun. Until I get my new glasses I thought I would share with you one of the pictures of the inside of my eye. according to the eye doctor this is what a health eye looks like. I'm so lucky, although I'm not so sure how lucky you are looking at this picture. Enjoy...
24 September 2007
|How to make a Tony|
3 parts intelligence
1 part crazyiness
1 part leadership
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of caring and a pinch of salt. Yum!
Personality cocktail From Go-Quiz.com
20 September 2007
I love you dad and I miss you but I know that you would want me to keep living my life to the fullest because it's the right thing to do and that's what I try to do not only for myself but now even more so I do it a little bit just for you.
18 September 2007
"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there."
Clare Booth Luce (1903 - 1987)
Word of the day:
turpitude \TUR-puh-tood; -tyood\, noun:1. Inherent baseness or vileness of principle, words, or actions; depravity. 2. A base act.
16 September 2007
I was about three or four years old when I was first taken advantage of and this is how it happened. (This is not a repressed memory so lift your minds out of the gutter and read on) It was either summer or spring because no snow was to be found for as far as my little eye could see or remember. I had on shorts and a T-shirt. I looked the part of a typical little blond-haired blue-eyed boy. My blond hair was that kind that was almost white and I endured being called tow-head for as long as I can remember. There were relatives visiting us that day, specifically my grandparents and my mother’s younger sister. Now my aunt had been born late in my grandparent’s life so she was only a few years older than my older brother and I. My older brother is three years older then I and because he and my aunt were both older they tended to play a lot together leaving me out of the loop. I was too young to play in their reindeer games. (Nod to Rudolph)
I remember that day was typical in that I was left to entertain myself while my brother and aunt did their best to get rid of me. At some point they decided that they were going to go to the store to buy some candy and soft drinks with the allowance they had saved up. They also knew I would not be able to go with them as the store was to far away. I too got a small allowance of five cents a week which to me seemed like a fortune. I don’t remember if I asked them or they approached me before they left but I knew I wanted to go with them and they were not having any part of that. I pleaded and whined as best a small child can plead and whine, but to no avail. However, they did relent and finally told me that they would bring me back something from the store if I gave them my money.
Now five cents was not a lot but as I said to me it was a fortune and in those days we still had penny candy so I knew I could get five pieces of some mouth watering sugar coated delicacy. Even at that young age I knew full well that they might be lying to me. I knew that they might keep my money and I would never see it or the candy. I eventually succumbed to the overpowering urge of soon having a giant Jaw Buster, a box of Boston Baked Beans or several pieces of bubble gum which my mother would surely take away from me as soon as she knew I had any of it especially the gum, but until that time I would enjoy every sweet morsel. I gave them my five cents and made them promise they would bring my prize. They of course said they would and off they went to the store.
Now you know as well as I do that waiting for a present no mater how big or small can seem like an eternity to a small child. I mean it was like waiting for my birthday to come around or worse yet waiting for Christmas morning to arrive to see what Santa had placed under the tree. Needless to say I was not very patient. At some point I started to believe that my brother and aunt had just taken my money and worse yet they had bought the candy I requested and were eating it themselves. I had to do something quickly if I was to ever see my money and/or my candy.
It was at that moment that I decided I would walk to the store by myself and find the thieves and confront them red-handed, so off I went. Now once again being that young my perception of time let alone distance was not that great. The walk to the store felt like it was taking forever and I knew the longer it took the more time those two had to eat all that was mine. Years later I would go past my old house and realise that the store was not all that far away but at the same time it was still way to far for a child to walk to by them self. Anyway, I continued to walk what seem like forever and finally made it to the store. The two thieves were no where to be seen outside the store so I went inside to look for them. This was a kind of five and dime store which had a little bit of everything; it was the Walgreen's of its day. I could not find the two of them anywhere in the store. I searched the candy aisles where I was easily distracted by the feast that surrounded me and eventually I gave up my quest to find the culprits. At some point I decided that they could no longer be trusted to bring what had been promised and I decide to get it myself.
I started to pick up a few of the tasty item before me and then thought maybe I had should venture over to the toy aisle to see what I could procure. I found a set of army men and even though I had some at home I knew I could never have enough and it would be easier to set up my battlefields with more men to create an even bigger army. My hands were full and I figured I best get going because I knew my parents would start to wonder where I was. I headed for the door and had actually stepped outside when a car pulled into the parking space right in front of the door. That car was our car and inside it was my mother and she was not happy.
My mother got out of the car and asked me what I thought I was doing. So I told her what tragedy my brother and aunt, her sister had done to me. I got the feeling she did not believe me. She marched me inside to the check out counter and told the lady behind the counter that I had something to tell her. The woman asked who had something to tell her and my mother pointed down to me. The woman leaned over the counter and there I was my arms loaded down with my ill gotten gains. They woman was very surprised to say the least and as my mother started to poke and nudge me I told the woman what I had done. It seems that I was so small that no one had paid me any attention and I had almost walked away with my treasure but unfortunate for me I was the one that got caught red handed.
I was taken home after apologising to the lady at the store even though I still thought I had done nothing wrong. I also had to return my precious cargo even though I thought it was unfair because the way I saw it I had paid for those things and it was up to my brother to give my money for said items to the lady behind the counter. Anyway, I came to find out that those who would steal from and take advantage of a sweet naive boy had arrived back at the house just shortly after I left and it was they who made my parents aware of the fact that I was no where to be found. In the end for all of my trouble I was the one that got punished not so much for stealing but for walking all the way to the store on my own. I would have thought that stealing would have been a much bigger crime. The moral of that story is if you want something done, do it yourself.
I wrote this long laborious story based on a recent comment saying that maybe I needed to write something about my childhood or past life experiences. Maybe I’ll do better next time.