30 June 2007

Quote and Word of the day...

Quote of the Day

"In the state of nature...all men are born equal, but they cannot continue in this equality. Society makes them lose it, and they recover it only by the protection of the law."

Charles de Montesquieu (1689 - 1755)

Word of the Day

bifurcate \BY-fur-kayt; by-FUR-kayt\, transitive verb:
1. To divide into two branches or parts.

intransitive verb:
1. To branch or separate into two parts.

1. Divided into two branches or parts; forked.

29 June 2007

How much I am worth dead???

I stole this from here but I'm not going to tell him because he said he didn't want anyone to tell him if they were worth more than he was. Sorry Lewis...

$4205.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

28 June 2007

What's your secret???

I read this here and I believe it originally came from here. I just wanted to share this with you because I think it is very important. Note: I did not write this but I truly understand everything that is written here and hope that others will read this and also begin to understand.

STRAIGHT PEOPLE - TRY THIS. Imagine you have a deep dark secret. It can be anything, it doesn't matter. Now imagine that if you told people this secret you would be ridiculed, hated, looked at like you are a freak. Imagine how badly you want to tell someone your secret. Imagine your fear of a persons reaction if you tell them your secret. Imagine you tell someone the secret, but it leaks out and soon everyone knows. Imagine people whispering and pointing at you as you walk down the hall. Imagine people staring at you as if your a freak, as if there is something wrong with you. Imagine people throwing their lunches at you or spitting on you as you walk across the courtyard at lunch. Imagine people taunting you with names that hurt you like a bullet. Now open your eyes. Gays go through this every day. We don’t have to imagine. For us, its reality.

I’m a bi who wishes she was straight because i’m sick of hiding, sick of the heartache and i’m tired of not knowing what will happen what friends i’ll lose next what words i’ll let slip and what questions i have to avoid answering.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the gay teenager who cant tell his school who he really is, because he is afraid of what they will do to him

I am the gay athlete who wants to use the locker room, but hears the ridicule of homosexuality just outside the door

I am the gay friend that only has a few people who actually care, but hardly get to see

I am the gay boy that wants to cry when he hears fag, gay, or homo in a way that makes me feel less human

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had… I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I’m the girl who was scoffed at by her teacher when she confided in her she might have a crush on a girl.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the girl who hides under lies just to feel that she belongs.

I am the girl that lost her two best friends because they were gay as well.

I am the girl that spent heart breaking nights holding her gay cousin until he cried himself to sleep.

I am the girl who lost her best friend because she found out she had a crush on her.

I am the kid whose own parents told her that she was going to hell.

I am the girl who gets in trouble with her parents for wearing a rainbow colored belt and hanging a

poster of Freddie Mercury on her wall.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant
when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMT’s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most… LOVE!

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

Something to think about...no?

25 June 2007


I have just been alerted to this website Equal Before the Law and the concept is easy.

Over 70% of Australians support the call to give same sex couples the same legal rights as heterosexual de facto couples, as does every State and Territory and most of the developed world. And yet the federal politicians still sit on their hands and do nothing.

This issue is a matter of simple fairness - giving all Australians their due entitlements regardless of the nature of their relationships.

So, if you feel like you want to do the right thing or just want to lend your voice please sign the on line petition. My husband and I appreciate your support!

PS. You don't have to live in Australia to sign the petition although that does make a stronger point. We still would like to know that people around the world also support our fight.

Baby it's cold out side...

Our backyard outdoor electronic weather station read this morning that it was -0.1 degree Celsius = 31.82 degree Fahrenheit and with a wind chill it felt like -3.7 degree Celsius = 25.34 degree Fahrenheit. Now, I know that to many North Americans and some of you in Europe don't think that is cold. If you lived here in the land down under, and more specifically in Tasmania, you would think it's cold considering most of the time our temperatures are quite moderate ranging around 26 degree Celsius = 78.8 degree Fahrenheit to 16 degree Celsius = 60.8 degree Fahrenheit . So it really is all relative. All I know is I've acclimated, there is a thick frost on the ground and snow on the mountain. It's cold!

What really concerns me is winter here runs on an even number of months, meaning we don't really go by the whole first day of summer/winter thing that happens around the 21 of say June or December. No, our seasons run in set three month lots and winter runs from June 1 to August 31. Our coldest month is July so I am a bit concerned as to what next month has in store. Oh well I always said I like cold better than hot because when it's stinking hot I can only take so many pieces of clothing off before I get arrested or people start tearing their eyeballs out. Where as in winter I can put a fire in the fire place, rug up, put on a woolly jumper and Bob's your uncle. Now for my family in America, translation (I can put a fire in the fire place, put on warm clothes, put on a sweater and there you have it)

Anyway, that's all that is happening around here. A quite week ahead with my regular three month check up with the doctor at the end of the week to see how my long, very long (21+ years), fight against HIV is going. I don't expect anything ground breaking as I take all my pills like a good boy, but you never know. At the end of the day if something where to change it would mean changing my medications which would be troublesome at best but I would do what I needed to because I've put up with this bloody (translation damn) disease for so long I sure as hell am not going to stop fighting now. Would seem kind of pointless really. And to think I have this conversation with my self daily. HMMM???

20 June 2007

Quote & Word of the day...

Quote of the day:

"Cherish each hour of this day for it can never return."

Og Mandino (1923 - 1996)

Word of the day:

disquisition \dis-kwuh-ZISH-uhn\, noun:
A formal discourse on a subject.

18 June 2007

Strahan Tasmania...

We've just gotten back from a three day holiday up to Strahan, Tasmania. We stayed at a nice little place called The Aldemere Estates. The weather was fantastic! Yes, it is winter and it was bit cold but the crowds were low and that made it nice to get around. We went on a the Gordon River Cruise that took us around the harbour and up the Gordon river. It was an all day cruise leaving at 9 and getting back at 2:30. They served us all local foods during the cruise and the menu consisted of:

Appetizers (Spiced pumpkin tartlets, salmon mousse on toast, lemon tartlets) and cheese platter (King Island Dairy Black Label Double Brie, King Island Dairy Roaring Forties Blue, wasabi-flavoured cheese, Dutch Edam) The lunch consisted of three salads (Marinated mushrooms, artichokes and baby spinach, Fresh new potatoes and pumpkin in a sweet mayonnaise dressing, Fresh broccoli, snap peas and baby spinach in a walnut vinaigrette) Fresh smoked Tasmanian salmon, Pate, Thyme infused pork terrine, local sausages and antipasto platter, cold cut meats (smoked ham, beef and turkey) and Wild game ragout made out of local farmed venison and wallaby. There was also all the wine, beer, lattes, tea and all the assorted beverage you could want.

This was all provided within the price of the ticket in the luxury of the captain's private quarter/viewing station including leather seats. It's been a bit of a rough time lately so we thought we deserved to spoil ourselves and it was so worth it. Anyway, if you want to see the pictures you can click on the pictures on the side columns under the Flickr badge or you can alternately just click on this link. I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we enjoyed taking them.

Also of note, while we were in Strahan, which is in the northwest of our little island, a cold front came through and it was the coldest day on record (-2C/28F) in the past 12 years back home in Hobart. There is a lot of snow on the mountain and we are expecting more. It looks like winter just might be a cold one this year. We ran into a bit of snow and ice on or drive home but not enough to make it to treacherous.

15 June 2007

New banner and colour...

Oh, and I've put up a new banner and changed the colour a bit to match the fact that it's winter here in the land down under. Enjoy...

Where am I? Who am I?

No, I don't have amnesia, I just feel a bit lost especially about this blog. I'm having one of those moments again where I'm trying to figure out what to write or even why I keep working at this thing. To be honest that's a big part of it; keeping a blog is work. I mean trying to think up witty things to post for those people that stop by is not an easy task. And then of course I start feeling guilty if I go a few days without writing something. I just don't know. Lets look at it this way, I'm supposed to be doing this for myself and rather or not I write something of interest and by chance also make it witty or I write nothing at all should be totally up to me. So, if I understand that it's my blog and I'll write if I want to then what's the problem? Maybe there isn't a problem.

The fact remains I'm not the most interesting of writers. I'll never be witty like Mark, Joe or Dirk. I'm just me and at the end of the day I'm resigned to the fact that this is a boring blog and the only reason I do it is so that occasionally I can let my family know what's up with my life and on rare occasions I post some long languishing list of things I like and dislike as if anyone wants to know. I'm not writing this so someone will comment and say "Hey don't be so hard on yourself". I don't really care. I just want to rant and once again you, the reader get to read a bunch of tripe. I've done it before and I'm sure I'll do it again.

Anyway, as to the question of where and who I am. I'm still here in the land down under and I'm still me, a 49 year old guy who has been HIV+ for 21 plus years and I'm looking forward to my 50th B-day this year. I have a loving partner whom I have been with going on 9 years. He loves me and I love him which works for the both of us. We have a nice home (with no mortgage) plus an apartment in reserve in Sydney (again no mortgage). (The houses really belong to my hubby but he lets me say they belong to us) I never have to worry about being homeless. I have a small amount of money in savings, although it is a very small amount that I have worked at saving and it won't take care of me in my old age retirement (if I get there), but it's nice to have a little money in savings to feel good about. We have a few close and cherished friends who we can depend on and I am grateful to have them. All in all I suppose life is not so bad.

So, what do I have to complain about? Well, I do have the neuropathy problem with my feet which keeps me in pain. I still take 12 pills a day because I continue to try to keep HIV from winning and killing me. I worry about my mum who lives half way around the world and at the end of the day I can't just pop over to see her or be there in a second if she needs me. I miss seeing my daughter and my granddaughter, especially miss seeing my granddaughter grow up. And last but not least we have a rare hermaphroditic cat who fights constantly with all of the other cats in the neighbourhood because she/he or they can't decide if she/he is just being butch or just a plain bitch.

At the end of the day I'm alive albeit boring I'm here and for better or worse here I will remain. Read it if and when you want and I'll write if and when I want. Thanks for letting me ramble and besides it's a post for better or worse.

13 June 2007

Quote & Word of the day...

Quote of the day:

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

Word of the day:

expatiate \ek-SPAY-shee-ayt\, intransitive verb:
1. To speak or write at length or in considerable detail.
2. To move about freely; to wander.

12 June 2007

Reading is fundamental

As winter sets in here in the land down under it seems to be the most logical time to get in some good reading time. It's a bit cold to go outside and nothing is nicer then curling up on the couch with a good book. I've always liked to read and sometimes I would read for days on end. Then other times I get easily distracted or maybe the book just isn't that great. Anyway, I thought I would share some of my most recent reads along with my current read and those to be read. So without further adieu, my current reading material is:

Mississippi Sissy by Kevin Sessums

Recent reads have included:

Books still to be read include but not limited to:

So, there you have it, quite a menagerie of reading material but I like to keep it all over the shop. I like everything from pure fantasy, thought provoking things, just plain good reads and good old true stories. It also looks like I have a lot of books on my shelves So, I best get reading! What have you read lately, currently reading or plan on reading?

(I linked all of the books in case you might be interested in finding out more not because I think you should buy them from Amazon)

7 June 2007

The human body...

I'm still going through a slow period when it comes to thinking up things to post. Hopefully soon this dry spell will end and I will once again be able to regale you with my brilliant writing skills but until then here are a few fast facts about the human body maybe one or two of the items will be something you did not know. Then again you may not care about any of it. Read what you want....
  • The length from your wrist to your elbow is the same as the length of your foot.
  • On average, people can hold their breath for one minute. The world record is seven-and-a-half minutes.
  • Your heart beats 101,000 times a day. During your lifetime it will beat about 3 billion times and pump about 400 million litres (800 million pints) of blood.
  • Your mouth produces 1 litre (1.8 pints) of saliva a day.
  • If the amount of water in your body is reduced by just 1%, you'll feel thirsty
  • You'll drink about 75,000 litres (20,000 gallons) of water in your lifetime.
  • A person remains conscious for eight seconds after being decapitated (this I find very disturbing)
  • Unless food is mixed with saliva you cannot taste it
  • Our eyes are always the same size from birth.
  • On average, you speak almost 5,000 words a day - although almost 80% of what you say is to yourself. (that explains a lot)

4 June 2007

What's in a name

I did this what does your name mean thing, that I've been seeing on a few other blogs, and I got two really different views. First I got this using my full name:

What Anthony Means

A is for Alluring

N is for Naughty

T is for Tempting

H is for Honest

O is for Old

N is for Normal

Y is for Young

...and then I got this using the name most people call me:

What Tony Means

T is for Terrific

O is for Old

N is for Natural

Y is for Young

What I find strange is that both said I was "Old". I won't deny that I'll be 50 this year (OMG!!!) but I sure as hell don't feel old. Anyway what really makes me wonder is that the "N" stands for three totally different things. First lets look at "Natural" and "Normal", all I can say is I try to be both. Secondly, we have "Naughty". Well all I'm going to say is "No Comment" and will definitely plead the fifth on that one :)

2 June 2007

Quote and word of the day...

Quote of the day:

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Word of the day:

autodidact \aw-toh-DY-dakt\, noun:
One who is self-taught.

1 June 2007

Celebrate diversity...

I first found out about this next item here and I wanted to show my support for this initiative. Even though I now live half way across the world. I will always support the cause of celebrating diversity. So here is the picture and an excerpt from the originating blog.

"It is that time of the year again where I post a photo that shows the rainbow and ask everyone to pass it around in hopes of spreading the idea of diversity. It may not be as pretty as last years, but it is more of the point I am trying to make. This is a rainbow created by different forces in nature (a little sunshine, water and wind). Last year there were over 100 of you who participated in my challenge and this year I want more. As I find the picture on sites, I will link to that site here in this post. I will try and keep this post at the top of the page all month long with links to the other sites. This challenge is not just about being accepted as a gay man, but it is about societies around the world learning to accept people for being themselves... diversity. Gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, skinny or fat... we need to be a little more accepting these days. The world is a mean place, let's work to make it a little nicer by showing this colorful rainbow that formed thanks to the right angle of the sun and a slight breeze across the pond. Mother natures way of saying she approves of this challenge... shouldn't we all."