Here's trouble....

Why is it that many within our community (and I'm only speaking about the gay community), why is it that we are so judgemental? Now maybe I'm about to get into big trouble but really at my age I've been through enough and seen way more than I care to have seen. So, what the hell here goes. I won't be the first person to write about this and I am sure I won't be the last. Anyway, I'm just so tired of all this inside bitterness that many within the community have against one another. Maybe it's because so many of us are still uncomfortable about who we are and as such it necessitates taking others down so we feel better ourselves. Maybe it's because all of our lives we've had to fight to get where we are and it seems that many of had to take on the "take no prisoner's" approach to the world around us. Why attack each members of our own community and simply because we don't fit a certain model set not only by society but within our own community. I mean within our community we seem to have all of these standards we're not young enough, buff enough, we're too fat, too hairy, we're whatever. We will never be able to be accepted and garner equality if we continue to fight with each other and discriminate within our own community..

What I'm looking at would be impossible, a Utopia if you will. It would be impossible because at the end of the day we are all human (or at least I'm lead to believe so for matters of this post) and no matter what label you put on us/yourself be it gay, straight, bi, queer, what ever; at the end of the day you/we are still just human beings with all the same emotions, feelings, needs and wants as the next person. Why any of us thinks we are better than the next is besides me. Don't get me wrong I have been as guilty as the next person and I surely don't like myself because of it. I would like to think I've grown a bit past that and have become more accepting or at least I damn well try and will admit when I don't.

So you say, what's my point? Well my point is that just maybe before we start attacking someone because they don't' fit our criteria for "being normal" we might want to just stop and think how we've been treated in the past (or are being currently treated) and just maybe we will be willing to give that person a bit acceptance and a lot more benefit of doubt. None of us is perfect and considering the state of the world and the bigger picture we have so many things we need to worry about, but then again just maybe we need to start within ourselves before we start trying to change the world around us. That's a whole other rant.

Anyway, I'm not sure where that all came from as I said earlier I'm getting older and I'm tending to spout off and maybe it's true as you get older you start to say things that you wouldn't normally have said because you just get tired of holding your tongue. It's not that I don't care but I get real tired of people telling me what I can and can not say. I will say what I want as long as whatever it is I say does not pointedly hurt someone. It's my opinion and like the rest of the world I'm entitled and to the rest of whoever you may be I leave the question: Why do we do it?

(really I'm not that old and angry I just play that way for those around me)

What's your secret???

I read this here and I believe it originally came from here. I just wanted to share this with you because I think it is very important. Note: I did not write this but I truly understand everything that is written here and hope that others will read this and also begin to understand.

STRAIGHT PEOPLE - TRY THIS. Imagine you have a deep dark secret. It can be anything, it doesn't matter. Now imagine that if you told people this secret you would be ridiculed, hated, looked at like you are a freak. Imagine how badly you want to tell someone your secret. Imagine your fear of a persons reaction if you tell them your secret. Imagine you tell someone the secret, but it leaks out and soon everyone knows. Imagine people whispering and pointing at you as you walk down the hall. Imagine people staring at you as if your a freak, as if there is something wrong with you. Imagine people throwing their lunches at you or spitting on you as you walk across the courtyard at lunch. Imagine people taunting you with names that hurt you like a bullet. Now open your eyes. Gays go through this every day. We don’t have to imagine. For us, its reality.

I’m a bi who wishes she was straight because i’m sick of hiding, sick of the heartache and i’m tired of not knowing what will happen what friends i’ll lose next what words i’ll let slip and what questions i have to avoid answering.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the gay teenager who cant tell his school who he really is, because he is afraid of what they will do to him

I am the gay athlete who wants to use the locker room, but hears the ridicule of homosexuality just outside the door

I am the gay friend that only has a few people who actually care, but hardly get to see

I am the gay boy that wants to cry when he hears fag, gay, or homo in a way that makes me feel less human

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had… I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I’m the girl who was scoffed at by her teacher when she confided in her she might have a crush on a girl.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the girl who hides under lies just to feel that she belongs.

I am the girl that lost her two best friends because they were gay as well.

I am the girl that spent heart breaking nights holding her gay cousin until he cried himself to sleep.

I am the girl who lost her best friend because she found out she had a crush on her.

I am the kid whose own parents told her that she was going to hell.

I am the girl who gets in trouble with her parents for wearing a rainbow colored belt and hanging a
poster of Freddie Mercury on her wall.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMT’s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most… LOVE!

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

Something to think about...no?

Makes me proud....

I just had to share this picture with you, because it make me smile in my heart. My husband (James) is a very kind and generous man. James works in the emergency department at the local hospital. People will always get sick and people die everyday so his jobs is one of necessity. He uses his medical training to help people feel better when they are feeling their worst. Most of the people he helps treat usually go home and heal, some get admitted to the hospital because they need a bit more long term care and others never leave the department because they present at a time when their body is in a critical state. Those people that are so critical usually teeter between life and death. It is up to my partner and the other doctors and nurses to do everything they can to help each and every individual that walks through their door. James and his co-workers work to the point of exhaustion, both physical and mental, especially when it comes to resuscitating a person and trying to keep them from dying. Sometimes they will do this three or more times a night. When I say he save lives I mean he literally saves lives. I think it takes great courage to do what he does. Those people that do not survive do so through no fault nor lack of trying by my partner and the other staff members involved. After the death of a patient my partner is then regulated to comforting those left behind. He always shows great compassion to the people he is trying to help as well as for those left behind. He sees the worst of everything and he is still able to smile. He tries to find something good in a bad situation at a time when people are feeling lost. During that most difficult of times he is able to bring some peace and a semblance of normalcy to a very chaotic world. I applaud James as well as the doctors and nurses that work with him for the unbelievable work they do. I am a very lucky to know this man and I'm very proud of him and what he does everyday!

That's James with one of his favorite co-workers. See I told you he is always smiling.