30 July 2009

Keep moving in a forward direction....

That's what I need to keep telling my self and at the same time remind my self not to break or drop anything on the way. As you know things are a bit fragile around here and we are just waiting for something to crack wide open. In some ways it would be best if certain things did just up and fall apart because then at least we could focus on taking care of the fall out. As it is all we can do is make plans as to what we think we should do which is difficult since we don't know for sure what, how and when we will have to put the plan into action.

The whole looking for a job is a joke. Everyone I talk to tells me to not take it to heart and that I'm not the only one in this predicament. I appreciate the thought but unfortunately it doesn't pay the bills at my house nor does it, I'm pretty sure, at the homes of all the other people who are apparently in the same boat as I am at the moment. Now, don't get me wrong, I do very much appreciate every ones support and kind words. I know you care and that means a lot to me. it also helps especially when I feel so down, undervalued and unappreciated. I just don't know what the answer is. I'm drowning here and there's not a life raft in site.

At the same time we are walking on egg shells when it comes to the subject of hubby's mum and her cancer. Things are getting worse by the day and as such we are taking things day by day. It's a terrible thing when someone has a terminal illness and even more so when it is a loved one. You feel so helpless, not knowing what to do. You know what the outcome will be but you just don't know when. Now some people would say well you never really know when you're going to die and to some extent this is true but when someone is given a diagnosis of a terminal disease. It's not so much that they know when they are going to die but that the know that they are going to die earlier than they might have wanted and still they're not sure when. It's very messy ball of tears, fears and emotions. Somehow we will work through it.

At the moment we are just going to hunker down and hold on with all we have left. We will deal with what ever comes our way and make tentative plans to regroup and see where we stand and what are options are at the end of the year. That's five months from now and believe me a whole lot of s#*t can happen in that small amount of time. So until then we plan to keep moving in a forward direction with the occasional side ways detours of which hopefully there won't be too many, too difficult or too painful.


Larry Ohio said...

I want to give you such a big hug TJ. I think about you often and am wishing for the best.

Ur-spo said...

I think that is a good positive attitude for these trying times.
I still think that when one is in hell, you keep walking and eventually you are out of it.