Keep moving in a forward direction....

That's what I need to keep telling my self and at the same time remind my self not to break or drop anything on the way. As you know things are a bit fragile around here and we are just waiting for something to crack wide open. In some ways it would be best if certain things did just up and fall apart because then at least we could focus on taking care of the fall out. As it is all we can do is make plans as to what we think we should do which is difficult since we don't know for sure what, how and when we will have to put the plan into action.

The whole looking for a job is a joke. Everyone I talk to tells me to not take it to heart and that I'm not the only one in this predicament. I appreciate the thought but unfortunately it doesn't pay the bills at my house nor does it, I'm pretty sure, at the homes of all the other people who are apparently in the same boat as I am at the moment. Now, don't get me wrong, I do very much appreciate every ones support and kind words. I know you care and that means a lot to me. it also helps especially when I feel so down, undervalued and unappreciated. I just don't know what the answer is. I'm drowning here and there's not a life raft in site.

At the same time we are walking on egg shells when it comes to the subject of hubby's mum and her cancer. Things are getting worse by the day and as such we are taking things day by day. It's a terrible thing when someone has a terminal illness and even more so when it is a loved one. You feel so helpless, not knowing what to do. You know what the outcome will be but you just don't know when. Now some people would say well you never really know when you're going to die and to some extent this is true but when someone is given a diagnosis of a terminal disease. It's not so much that they know when they are going to die but that the know that they are going to die earlier than they might have wanted and still they're not sure when. It's very messy ball of tears, fears and emotions. Somehow we will work through it.

At the moment we are just going to hunker down and hold on with all we have left. We will deal with what ever comes our way and make tentative plans to regroup and see where we stand and what are options are at the end of the year. That's five months from now and believe me a whole lot of s#*t can happen in that small amount of time. So until then we plan to keep moving in a forward direction with the occasional side ways detours of which hopefully there won't be too many, too difficult or too painful.

A post here, a post there...

...that's the best I can do these days. Thank God 12 of 12 is just around the corner or else the posts would be even fewer. I know I've talked about how flat I've been well now my flat has a dip in it. I really didn't think I could feel so down. This whole looking for work and being rejected left right and center has done a job on me. The other day I got all dressed up best suit, tie and all to go down to an interview that I got after I applied just that morning and they called me like two hours after I applied. I thought this must be a good sign. No more than ten minutes after I got there they had me filling out employment forms telling me how great I was and that all I had to do was have a quick ten minute interview with the supervisor and I basically had the job. Well after I finished the paper work and while I was waiting for the HR person to come back and tell me what time my interview would be, I read the job description they had given me. At the bottom of the second page I see under Essential Criteria "Current drivers license". so I asked to the HR person when she came back '"just how essential is the license?" and she said she would go check. So, off she waddled (don't ask) and she waddled back a few minutes later. Guess what? It seems that you need a drivers license for a desk job. Who f'ing knew??? I mean WTF???

So anyway, I've just about had it. I know that I'm not the only one struggling to find work but JHC seven months and over seventy applications later and I've got jack all. Nothing, Nada, zilch!!! I just don't know what to do. I guess I have to keep trying what other choice do I have. As I mentioned before I'm no longer getting assistance from the government so the small little amount of money is gone but it's not really just about the money. I mean we're not starving and we won't lose the house or anything. Thank God (or whoever) we paid the house off a while back when we sold another property that we owned and the first thing we did was pay off the mortgage on this place so just in case something like this happened and we wouldn't have to worry about the bank foreclosing. I know I shouldn't be whinging because I don't have to worry about those things but it's not just that it's personal. This whole thing is soul destroying. I'm losing all self worth and confidence. Anyway, enough about this. I'll leave it at that. I'll try to post when I can and as I said 12 of 12 will definitely happen. It's one of the few things I have to look forward to. I apologies for being such a Debbie Downer, but thanks for reading and letting me vent. Until next time take care and Enjoy...

Two maybe....

I've got two interviews, one on Monday and one on Tuesday. So wish me luck. I know this is a lame post but I'm sure you can gather where my head, time and energies are focused. I hope everyone is well in blogger land. Until next time take care...

I feel so bad...

...not physically but emotionally. You see, even though I know that this is my blog and I can write or not write what ever I damn well please (see I wrote damn) but I just sometimes feel bad when I haven't posted something for several days. I know I, along with countless others, have written about this before. Also as I've said before I know that there are so many of you out there waiting on the edge of your seat, day in day out, hour by hour, minute by well you get the idea. I just know how you can't wait for the next post and that when I've made you wait for so long many of you probably even forgo food and water for fear that you'll miss the next post while you are out looking for said nourishment. Well I just feel bad about it all and sometimes I feel so bad that it even flows in to the realm of guilt but not for too long I am after all realistic and know that I could never be that important nor would I want to be (okay maybe a little important wouldn't hurt).

All kidding aside I think I just feel that there are a few of you that have become friends in a far off distant kind of way, or you have become friends at least in my mind. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I just think you're my friends and that in reality I've made the whole thing up. Well if that be the case then I must ask you to leave and stop reading this immediately as I have stopped the delusion in my mind that you are my friend. On the other hand if you really are my friend then then I shall continue to type and you may continue reading.

Unfortunately there's not much to type about around here. I continue to look for a job. I have officially applied for nine jobs and I have already been sent a "Thanks but No thanks" letter from two of them. It's tough out there and it's not going to get any better for a while I'm afraid. All I can do is keep moving in a forward direction and as hubby has said "The right job will come along in due course." I know he is right but I hate the whole job seeking process, next up will be the interview, well that is if I don't keep getting the no thanks letters. I'll get there sooner or later.

One nice thing happened as of recent. I recently found out that I would be getting my Diploma in Community Education after a long drawn out process. It's too difficult to explain but never the less I'm finely getting the diploma. Here in the land down under we name things differently, well that is different from the US. Of course you could look at it another way and say that it is the US that name things different. Anyway, I digress. About this diploma it is like a certification, well it is a certification and what it means is that I have the training/knowledge of what is needed to be a community educator including the development of resources, presentations, programs etc as well as the ability to help a community build upon itself. It's not that big of a deal but it looks really good on my resume.

The other big news is that while those of you in the northern hemisphere, more specifically the US have been inundated with snow and ice and everything that goes with it, we have been having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave. We're having a heat wave a tropical heat wave. You see I'm overcome with the heat I'm repeating myself. I'll try to focus. So yes ,it's been extremely hot for the past three days and with that comes the added danger of bush fires. We've been lucky here in Tasmania it hasn't been as hot as it has in other parts of the country where they have had 45C plus (113 F) for the past several days. It's suppose to break in the next day or so and for the people near the fires I hope so for their sakes. I know it is summer here but no one likes it that hot, well okay there may be a few of you that do and to you I say enjoy

And that my friends is it for now. We are going to some friends house tonight for dinner and a sleep over. The live in the country which here in Tasmania is only ten minutes from our house. They are dear friends and we love spending time at their place. the live on 25 acres however they recently had two tiger snacks near the house and I told them that if I'm coming down they will have to fix that. I HATE snakes. They told me they would do everything they could but could not promise. As if. Okay I'm out of here, hopefully I'll be back sooner that last time. I hope all is well in your end of the would Take care and enjoy...