Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy...

Hello blog world. I seem to be having a little trouble getting to the key board currently but bear with me and I will attempt to do my best over the next few days/weeks. Let me explain. During may recent stay in hospital the specialist fine tuned my new medications which translates to he had fun playing around with the dose levels along with how many times of day I would be taking the medications. At one point he told me that the high levels and frequency of the new medications along with the high level of pain medications I am taking would knock me about a bit or in real words they will make me sleepy, a bit vague in the head etc. I told him at the time I didn't care as long as they helped.

While I was still staying in the hospital I guess I didn't notice the full effect of the medications. By the time I left my most pleasant stay in hospital, in which I'm sure you have all read about in the two previous post, but let's not revisit that most meaning full part of my personal life history. As I was saying, while in hospital because I basically laid around in bed a large portion of the day not having anywhere else to go and my biggest distraction was some very boring local television I did a whole lot of sleeping. Even during the those periods at which I was taken done to the scan area in a wheel chair I guess I just didn't notice the "knocked about" feeling considering how bloody bored I was.

Since I've been home that "knocked about" has become a bit more noticeable. I'm trying to do "normal" things and I'm finding my self challenged from all sides. I can't get past two pages of the current book I'm reading (Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris for those interested). I start to nod off during conversations if there is a lapse in the conversation. Watching television is hopeless. Walking around is fine as far as the feet pain goes because the medications are working but at the same time I get the waves of light-headed dizziness that come out of no where and with out warning so I suddenly have to stop walking for a moment to steady myself. The biggest thing to deal with is the fact that if no one wakes me to take my pills (thank you hubby) I would sleep right through the next dose until the current dose wore off which would defeat the purpose of taking the new pills. It has been a chore keeping on top of my new pill schedule.

Anyway, that's why the title "Sleepy, sleepy sleepy...". All I seem to be doing is sleeping or trying not to would be a better way of looking at it and when I'm not sleeping I'm trying to keep my head on straight. All of this just so my feet don't hurt. In the end I will survive because I am told that these effects will eventually taper off or I will simply adjust to them. So please bear with me as I can't promise when I'll post much less can I promise or take credit for the content or should I say I cant promise everything I write will make sense which might actually be "normal" for me, who knows. You know how I tend to ramble. Take care and Enjoy...

MRI, doctor visit, hospital in a blink of the eye...

Get ready this is a long post.

So, as many of you may or may not know I have been having a horrendous time with the peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage) in my feet and we have had even more trouble finding the right way to manage the pain. We have tried all of the usual neuropathic medications but to no avail. I will say that in most cases the medications tended to give some relief albeit only temporary. We ended up with the last alternative which is analgesia. Now the type of analgesia I'm talking about tends to be a bit stronger than Panadol (Tylenol to those of you in the in the US). The analgesia I'm talking about are opiate based pain relief. You know the ones I'm talking about, the big guns or party favours if you like for those of you living in slightly more metropolitan areas such as LA, Sydney, London, New York, Dallas, Paris, you get the idea. Not that I'm suggesting that any of my loyal readers (all 6 of you) would every think of taking said drugs as anything more then appropriate pain management. I'm sure that most people would never every see these drugs as anything more than pain management much less a form of entertainment. Would they? Anyway, we did keep one of the neuropathic medications to take along with the pain relief as we felt we would get better coverage over the pain.

In the end the pain still won. I was having what is called breakthrough pain which is what it sounds like the pain actually breaks through the pain relief ceiling being provided by the drugs. On average these breakthroughs happened three times a day and some times more. The pain lasted around thirty minutes but it could last for an hour or more and during those periods of breakthrough pain I would score the pain level a 5-8 out of 10. When I wasn't in one of those periods I would still have an occasional zing of lighting run through my foot or my feet would suddenly feel like they were on fire but if those things didn't last long I just ground my teeth and rode them out. Also because the nerves are messed up I don't feel the ground so well meaning that even thought I get this pain my feet at the same time my feet are are numb. Go figure???That's why they call it nerve damage.

Now that we are all up to speed, and I apologies for boring to those of you who know that part of the story, let's talk about what happened when I went up to Sydney for my MRI. So the pain was totally out of control and by the time we went to Sydney to have the MRI done and to get a review by the specialist neurologist, I was taking 60mg of Oxycontin SR twice a day. Oxycontin SR is the extended release formula of oxycodone so you get relief over 12 hours opposed to a sudden rush of pain relief like you get from oxycodone which is taken like every 4 hours. The problem as I said earlier is the pain was breaking through between doses. Anyway, we arrived in Sydney on Monday night and the test was scheduled for the next morning. We went up to the hospital at 11:00am and handed in the appropriate paper work, which I had filled in prior, to the out patient desk and sat down. I was having a few claustrophobia issues ever since my little trip to the ER a few weeks back when I couldn't breathe and as many of you might know an MRI machine can give people a kind of oh say casket like feeling, yeah that's it, like being in a box that you can't get out of and definitely not the place for a claustrophobic. They even ask you on the pre-test form rather or not you have issues with claustrophobia. As a pre-caution I took 20mg of Valium to calm my nerves. I told the women who was giving the test what I had taken and she said she thought it was a bit excessive but what ever it takes, honey. In the box I went and half way trough the woman who had been occasionally talking to me through a speakerphone within the machine finally said she was going to quite asking me if I was alright because I was snoring to much. Hmm??? guess the Valium worked.

Test all done and it was off to the neurologist for his review of the whole situation. I've been seeing this doctor for a few years now for this problem and he is the best that I know of and I trust him. He did his usual exam and looked at the results of the MRI, which were inconclusive naturally and of no help what so ever other than to tell me that I have a bit of arthritis in my lower back. Hell, I could have told him that. I'm then one who groans every morning getting out of bed and it ain't because I don't want to get up. So then he says " When do you fly back to Hobart?" We said "Day after tomorrow" which his reply was "Ow (big pause), because I think it would be best if I admit you into hospital so we can deal with this properly." James and I looked at each other and just turned around an said "If you think it's best we'll do what we need and we'll go from there." And, that is how I ended up spending the next  ten days in hospital.

Now, I think that's enough reading for your poor bleary eyes at the moment, not to speak of my poor fingers. I will tell you all about what happened in the hospital tomorrow. It's a long post too, but just all sorts of fun. I guarantee. I hope some of you weren't expecting to hear about the whole thing because I am having a hard enough time typing this as it is, I mean you think 60mg of Oxycontin twice a day is bad Hmm??? you ain't seen nothin' yet. You'll understand tomorrow. Until then Enjoy...

Needle and the damage done...

I finally did it I went for the needle to relieve the pain. I've tried all sorts of drugs but never the needle. I know many people use the needle not only for the pain but to help them deal with so many other problems in their lives and most become addicted to using the needle. I had to try something I had to make the pain go away. I've only tried it once but I'm sure I'll be back for more. When the needle went in it stung and then a slow burn started travelling over my skin. The burn gave way to numbness and then there was only this dull heavy feeling. The payback is that now I ache from where the needle entered. I don't know why anyone would want to go through the initial pain for such short term relief. I long for that dull comfortable numb even now. You do realise I'm talking about the use of the ancient art of Chinese acupuncture???? Geesh you people!!!

Quiet is as quiet does...

Well it's been pretty darn quiet around here as of late. It's that time of year when we start slowing down because winter is on it's way. The trees have all but lost their bright fall coloured leaves. All of the flowers in the garden have gone to sleep. My biggest problem is trying to decide what to wear, because it's cold in the mornings but warmish by afternoon. Soon it will stay cold but until then can you imagine my dilemma.

Anyway, not much else going on here. I have been feeling a lot of aches and pains and have had a few strange maladies occurring within and on my body. I'm not sure if it's the change of weather, or if I'm just getting older, or if it may something a bit more sinister and related to the HIV. I have my blood work done this coming Friday so that will tell if all is well on the inside, or at least from a medication stand point. It may be just my body reacting to all of the medications I have had to start taking. Sometime, I feel like I am back to where I started. I had gotten my pills down to just three pills twice a day, all up six, but now I'm taking double that (12). I suppose it could be worse because I think at the height of my pill taking it was 21 so I guess 12 isn't so bad. It may just be me wanting to rant a bit and get the angst out of my system. We are going for a drive up the coast tomorrow to have lunch near the ocean, it will be good.

Oh and here is something new, ocasionally I'm going to do a word of the day and/or a quote of the day so today I'll do both to get it started.

Todays word is:

bon vivant \bon-vee-VONT\, noun:
A person with refined and sociable tastes, especially one who enjoys fine food and drink.

Todays quote:

"We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery."

H. G. Wells English author, historian, & utopian (1866 - 1946)

My fine is $510.10...

I got a giggle out of this meme type entry that I read over at 'Til the Cows Come Home, who got it from Tuna Girl, Anyway, it is a list of fines that you might pay based on certain things you have done in the past or maybe even doing currently??? My fine for offences totalled $510.10.

So, here’s how it works: You don’t have to confess your answers, just add up all of your offences and then tell us how much of a fine you would have to pay. You only have to pay the fine for each thing once. So, if you smoke pot everyday you still only get fined $10. Tally up your score and post it on your blog with the title… ”My Fine Is…”

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

How much is your fine?