Home again...

Well I'm finally home again after a very long and exhausting 7 days in Sydney. I was originally only supposed to be in Sydney for 4 days in order to see the neurologist for a check up on the back surgery I had last July. I am having some on going symptoms associated with the surgery. I had a new MRI of my entire spine and in addition I had a Nerve Conduction Test (NCT) run on my hands because I have developed some symptoms in my hands, which would not have been associated with the lower back surgery. So, it was a totally new problem..

As I said the MRI was to follow up on my surgery sight and the NCT was investigating the symptoms in my hands, which included numbness and pain in both hands. I can not hold anything for longer than a minute without my fingers and eventually my entire hand going numb. My neurologist suspected that I might have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS) and the NCT confirmed his suspicions. I have (CTS) not only in one hand but both. We also discovered that I am developing peripheral neuropathy in both hands. The neuropathy is the same as the neuropathy I currently have in my feet.

The (CTS) can be fixed through surgery. I will have two separate surgeries so I will be able to use one hand while the other hand is recuperating from the surgery. I don't know when the surgeries will happen but the doctor is working on scheduling the surgeries. As soon as they have a date I'll be off to fix my hands. Unfortunately, the neuropathy can not be fixed and I can only hope that it does not get any worse and get as bad as it is in my feet.

The MRI found a suspicious spot near the area involved with my back surgeries (remember I ended up having 4 of them). The doctor then ordered a series of blood tests and a set of nuclear scans of my entire body which not only looked at the suspicious spot but also my bones. The doctor was trying to determine if the spot he saw was scar tissue or instead a collection of fluid which could be a site of chronic infection. If the site was a chronic infection I was looking at ongoing intravenous antibiotics that would be administered on a regular basis in order to keep the infection in check so it would not spread into my system. The results ended up being just scar tissue and not an infection. I was extremely relieved. The scar tissue will be something I will always have to deal with and it will unfortunately continue to give me some pain for the rest of my life. This is not uncommon once any type of back surgery is performed. I can and as I said will have to live with that.

All in all it was a mixed bag of results but overall I think we ended up with mostly good results. I'm not looking forward to the surgeries on my hands but at least they will help my hand get back to some sense of normal. I'll keep everyone abreast of all the latest developments and once again I want to thank all of you that have continued to send me such wonderful notes of encouragement.

One more thing, I don't have to worry about looking for a job until my hands are fixed so in some ways that's one worry off my chest. I hope by the time my hands are fixed the job market will look brighter. OK, that's all for now and thanks for reading this very long post. I'll write again soon and also make sure I do next months 12 of 12. I hated missing it but I did not have my camera with me in Sydney. See you soon. Take care...

Back among the living...

I'm here after crawling and clawing my way back to the land of the living. Seriously people the way I felt the past few days is so extremely horrendous, you have no idea. Now in saying that let me recap what you've missed because I know you are all waiting with baited breathe to hear about my recent illness. (You should all seriously look into getting a hobby, I'm not that interesting.) Anyway, for those of you that need/want to know, here goes. Beware this is a long post so don't say you weren't warned.

You will remember that on the last episode of (Tony Falls Crook) I was about to go see the doctor. Well when he saw me the first thing he said "Wow you look awful". Thankfully we don't have to pay for doctors visits here because if we did I sure wasn't going to pay for that brilliant diagnosis. After acknowledging his medical expertise I felt it best to fill him in on just how bad I felt to get me look so awful. He then proceeded to do what doctors do with the poking and the prodding. Next some lab forms with all sorts of blood test on them were handed to me and he also wanted me to have a CT scan of my abdomen and my lower back where I had recently had back surgery if you remember back in July.

So off I hobbled to the X-ray/Imaging facility down the block. Oh here's the best part I had to walk about two blocks and wouldn't you know it but it just so happened that winter had decided to make a grand showing on the same time with freezing temperatures, rain, sleet and snow all at once and all on top of my head. Guess who didn't have an umbrella? Anyhoo, I made it to the imaging place and handed the lady my forms. She in turn told me that this would take about an hour and a half and to have a seat as she would be right back with a nice little drink for me to ingest. Now you know as well as I do that this lovely concoction was far from lovely. It was not only tepid but it looked like pee and tasted like a mixture of lighter fluid, formaldehyde and lemonade (not that I've ever tasted such a combination before but I'm guessing that would be what that combination would taste like). I was to drink this concoction slowly over the next 30 minutes. I finished gaging my way through the entire 8 ounce glass just as she came out to get me to take me in for my scan.

The scan was harmless and pain free. She did initially want to inject me with the common iodine solution that they use to get a better picture. I had to tell her that she would not be able to do that as I am allergic to intravenous iodine because I tend to have an anaphylactic response to IV iodine and then I die. So we both decided it would be best that we didn't go down that road. Besides what the hell was all that crap I just drank for the past 30 minutes? As I said the scan was a breeze except for the cocktail. I got the pictures from the scan and headed to my next adventure on Ton's big day out.

I was off to the vampire's lair otherwise known as pathology to give them fourteen tubes of blood and two small bottles. Not only did I feel like shit but now they were going to attempt to take every last bit of life giving blood from my body. The people that take blood almost always hurt me. It wasn't always that way. Before 2000 I was a smoker and I weighed between 160 and 165. (I know, can you believe it?) and I had veins everywhere so getting a sample from me was easy. After 2000 I quit smoking and unfortunately I gained a little weight and a lot of my veins disappeared under a newly acquired layer of fat. (No I'm not going to tell you how much I weigh now) The blood letters now tell me it's difficult to find a vein. My husband you remember the one who works in the Emergency Department and save peoples lives every night, tells me that I have great veins and that they are just either lazy or bad at their job. Anyway, blood was taken, I was hurt and by now I was already to call the funeral home myself because I felt so over the whole ordeal.

James took me home I collapsed on the couch. Five minutes later the phone rings and it's the doctor wanting me to come back down to his office right then. I drag myself off the couch and off we go down to his office. As a side note the weather has not gotten any better by this time in fact it's gotten colder and the combination of what was falling was getting heavier, but I digress. We find a parking spot and get to the doctors office where he tells us the results of the scan. It seems that there is a lump of some sort that has developed next to the area that I had recent surgery. They believe that it is a collection of fluid and they need to stick a needle into the area to drain off some of the fluid. They then can send the fluid off to see if it is infected and if it is it would explain the temperatures and everything else I had been feeling. At the same time by draining some of the fluid and releasing some pressure from the area I should get some relief from the pain coming from my back. On the other hand it might be possible that the growth could be something entirely different and that it might mean I would have to have surgery again to remove it.

By this time I'm beside myself as I'm not good with people stick big needles into me and stabbing around hoping to hit the right spot. I agreed to do the procedure as it had to be done. My doctor had a look from the outside and then he said he wasn't comfortable with finding the right spot and he didn't want to cause me any unneeded pain. He said it would be best to have the fluid/sample removed with the help of an ultrasound to locate the exact spot. Once again forms were filled out and appointments were urgently made. It was 4:00 at this point. The appointment was made for 5:30. James and I went back home so I could lay down for a bit before we headed down to the ultrasound. The test was performed with no pain as they numbed the site and the sample was taken however there was no fluid to be found. ??? Instead we ended up taking a small sample of gelatin like substance over to the after hours lab and then went home to collapse.

To make a long post short. every test has come back normal. We are still awaiting a few result from the sample taken from my back but at the end of the day everything is pointing to some type of viral infection. I am going to Sydney next week for a review by my surgeon and my neurologist. We hopefully will get some more information up there in reference the thing that has developed in my back. As for me currently all of a sudden as quickly as it came 7 days ago what ever attacked me left and I'm feeling fine. As I said they will still need to decide what to do with the growth and I imagine that they may require another MRI. All I know is right now I feel fine except for the fact that my fingers hurt from typing this post. I will now put this to an end so that you may tend to your bleeding eyes.

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to Sydney we go...

Well, we're off to Sydney for a few days. I have two doctors appointments on Monday as well as another MRI scheduled of my lower back to see if the problems with my lower back got any worse since I was in hospital a few months ago. If it is worse than we will start a course of steroids to hopefully reduce some of the swelling on the two disc in question. If that doesn't work then I have two options steroid injections or surgery. I have no plans to have the injections because they are way to painful and basically I'm not a big one on pain. I'm sure it will all be just fine.

The other thing the doctor will want to know is how I'm doing since we increased one of my medication a month ago. All I can tell him is that I fall asleep a lot more often and especially whenever I'm stationary for more than ten minutes or sometimes even in mid conversation. I actually fell asleep the other night for an hour sitting on the toilet. Good thing I didn't fall off and hit my head on the bathtub. On top of that I never did what I went in there to do.

They other strange thing is I have these little like mini sleeps where I'm asleep but not asleep and I have these kind of little dreams. When I start to wake up I start to act upon the dream as if it was real. It's hard to explain but extremely freaky. Anyway, I'll ask the doctor about it. We've decide that it was really a good idea that I gave up driving. You can only imagine.

The rest of our time in Sydney will be spent with James' parents so that James gets to spend some more time with his mum. I think it's really important as we don' know how long she will be able to fight this cancer. The doctors said 6-12 months. We are all hoping for 12 and maybe more who knows others have down it.

Okay, I best go finish packing. James is at work. He will be exhausted after doing 4 shifts in a row and it's been a busy three days so far in the Emergency Room. Maybe tonight they will get a break. At least James is on triage so he gets to sit down for a little bit in between patients.

I'll let you know when we get back and who knows I may even have some pictures to share as I'm taking the camera with me. Until then you take care and just Enjoy...

A ten day sentence (I mean hospital stay)...

Warning: this will be another long post. Also a comment was left on the previous post saying that I was awfully chipper in my previous musings or the pain medicine was working over time. I would put my money on the pain medications as there is never anything chipper about a stay in hospital. So, when we last left our fearless adventurer he had run in to a bit of a road block, finding himself ill and about to be booked into a stay at the local hospital.

I spent one more night in the hotel before I started my time in hospital because my appointment with the specialist had run late and it was already almost 6:00pm so they weren't able to book me a bed until the next morning (Wednesday). I enjoyed the reprieve with a bit of dinner and a last minute cuddle with my partner. I was also feeling a bit better that evening because one of the first things the specialist did was to change the current level of my pain medication from 60mg Oxycontin twice a day to 80mg twice a day. The extra pain numbing boost was a welcome bonus to the impending doom of a hospital stay.

The following morning (Wednesday) we got a call from the specialist's intern who said my room/bed was ready. Now I can't say that I dashed quickly to the hospital, because even though I knew it would be a good thing to finally try to get to the bottom of this if we could, but I mean really who wants to spend time in hospital? Anyway, when we arrived I was taken up to ward 9 South (Oncology/Hematology). Now you might ask why a blood based ward when the pain is in my feet. Well the answer to that my friend is because no matter what I go into hospital for they always take the underlying factor of my HIV+ status into the equation. Since HIV is a blood based virus then the patient is placed in a Oncology/Hematology ward, or so that is what I have always been told. I've been placed in the same type of accommodation during each of my previous hospital stays since becoming positive 22 years ago.

We arrived at my room/bed and bed would have been more accurate as I was placed in a four bedded room with two of the four current beds being occupied. This was going to be fun. The four beds shared a shower and bath not to mention a shared toilet which left not much privacy due to the paper thin walls if you catch my drift. The two other occupants seemed nice enough, but then again looks can be deceiving. One man was in for some sort of kidney, blood, dialysis thing and the other man was just plain old. Sorry don't mean do be ageist but it was true. The nurses seemed efficient, pleasant and most of all capable. I can be highly critical of nurses seeing that my husband has been nursing for the past 20 years so I know what to expect.

I got settled into my bed and took note of my bearings; bathroom directly through the paper thin wall to my right, nurse/television control buzzer to my left, exit down the hall and hang a quick left to the lifts (elevators for my friends in the states) and that would take care of my needs for the moment. As usual I hadn't been there long and a nurse showed up to take some blood. The some blood turned into ten tubes of the stuff taken out of my left arm. Three quarters of the way through I asked her if she was going to leave me any blood to which she politely replied "Don't worry you still have what's left in your right arm". I also got a visit from the specialist who asked if I was settling in okay and I said yes. He asked how the pain was and if the new dose from yesterday had helped and I said it helped a little but I was still get some shocking (literally) moments. So he bumped up my Oxycontin to 100mg twice a day. So within a span of less than 24 hours I had gone from 60mg twice a day to 100mg twice a day. I was starting to worry rather or not I would be able to function at all by the time this was all over if they kept increasing the dosing. I was already pretty drugged as it is. Anyway, the rest of the first day was quiet except for an x-ray, pretty common stuff really.

The next few days were pretty standard. I saw a Rheumatologist for the aching in my hands feet and ankles. She said she would schedule some more blood tests and a few various scans and stuff. There was more blood drawn than I believe necessary but none the less it was drawn. I had a bone density scan done of my lower back spinal area, hands, feet and ankles. The scan of my spine along with the MRI of the same area was looking at the point at which the nerves start to spread away from the spine. They were looking for any disruption or problem which would be aggravating the neuropathy. We weren't looking for the cause we were looking for the agitators, if there were any. Also on Monday my pain relief was bumped once more from 100mg Oxycontin twice a day to 120mg twice a day. All in all I made through to the first weekend and during that period not much happened purely because it was the weekend so I guess that in the hospital unless it's critical they don't do scans and stuff.

This would be as good as place as any to discuss the food. Now we all know that hospital food is notoriously bad and I have been in hospital way to many times to pretty much attest to those rumors. I have been to at least one hospital that I can remember where the food was actually quite nice, of course it was a private hospital and I was paying through the nose for the luxury, hell it even had cable television, but I digress back to the food. Here's my question why is it that while you are in hospital, which means to me that you must really, really be sick or otherwise you wouldn't be there, why oh why than do the try to kill you with the food? I mean you already feel bad and they keep telling you need to eat to keep up your strength. That would be all fine and well except for that fact that everything sat done in front of you that is supposed to be food is tasteless, in many cases unidentifiable, and in most cases what is supposed to be hot is cold and vice verse. I just don't understand. To top it off it is delivered on schedule so every day, 7:00am breakfast, 12:00pm lunch and 5:00pm dinner with variance of only +/- 5 minutes usually it was on said time. How do they do it? The only other thing you can depend on was the ice cream. you know the type. the kind you used to get when you were in elementary school. It was one of the few things that was edible. I mean it's not primo ice cream but it also hasn't changed since I was in school. it still comes with the little wooden spoon. I lost 7 kilos (15lbs) during those ten days. So ladies if your listening, the hospital diet is the way to go.

Over the weekend one of the interns that works for my specialist cam to see me on Sunday he told me that on the had organised an ultrasound of my back and kidneys region for Monday and that they were still trying to organise an ultrasound for my hands. I said great. I was told that I couldn't eat anything after midnight and I could have water only to take my pills in the morning. Once again not a a problem. So Monday morning arrives and not late into the morning a porter came up with a wheelchair to take me down to the ultrasound department to have my test done. The next thing I know this technician is lubing my hands up and getting ready yo do the scan of my hands. I said oh great the were able to get this test scheduled to. She asked what I was talking about to which I explained what i had been told by the doctor to which I got the reply " I don't know what you're talking about. you're not schedule for a kidney scan. we should know we're the ultrasound department. " I told her I was questioning any of that I was merely relating to her what i had been told. She again told me that none the less I wasn't scheduled for the kidney scan. I said " What ever." During the hand scan she asked me at on point while pressing on this one joint as to rather it hurt or not and I said no. to which she responded "That's not what my notes say." I'm all like well sorry about your notes but that doesn't hurt. I should have stopped there but inadvertently I let out of my mouth that I wish I had known that the other exam hadn't been scheduled because I wouldn't have fasted to once again she had a quick reply. "I don't know why you fasted either. You don't have to fast for that." I closed my mouth at that point and waited for it all to be over. After returning upstairs to my luxury accommodations I made a very reserved yet firm enquiry as to what the hell just happened. Shortly after I was told that there had been an administration error which had been rectified and I would be having the test done in the morning 100% without a doubt. Apologies all around but unfortunately I would have to go without food one more night. OK fine as long as you promise it will happen tomorrow. "We Promise!" The next morning the porter showed up bright and early at 8:30. This is a good sign, punctuality. I arrived in the Ultra sound Department and five minutes later a girl came to collect me, but instead of collecting me she said your test has been cancelled and promptly had me sent back upstairs. Well doesn't that just bite the big one. Needless to say I was just a tad NOT HAPPY. This time my enquiry as to what the hell just happen was not reserved but way more than firm let's say it was ballistic. In the end apologies all around sorry for the mess up but yes the test was supposed to be canceled but another error. Now I'm just worried about if you can't schedule a simple test how the hell are you going to diagnose anything?

I eventually calmed down after talking to James who unfortunately had gone back home the previous Sunday because of work which also didn't help my mood. The rest of the week went by quietly they continued blood taking and they added a new medication to the mix and they kept increasing it everyday. The doctor told me it would really make knock me about along with the other medications I was taking but he thought it would work. From Thursday afternoon (day*) until I saw the specialist the next afternoon I had my first pain free hours in three years. We had done it. Albeit as i said using high doses of a lot of things but I was not in pain. My feet were still numb to the touch but numb I could handle. So the specialist said I would be paroled in the morning and I thanked him for all of his efforts and we were done. Saturday I waited for my discharge papers and medications and the funny thing about that day is I finally got discharged at noon by which time lunch had been served, and I'll be damned if it was not the best looking plate I had seen in 9 days. Go figure.

Epilogue. As it stands I have been pain free for 6 days with two small breakthrough episodes for which the doctor gave me another pain medication that works quickly but as it stands things look good. The downside is my head is in a constant whirl and blur, hence my rambling and god knows about clarity of this post and then there is the fact that i now am taking 30 pills a day to make life what it is and what that is is that I can just keep going forward until something better comes along. Thanks for your patience have a great day and Enjoy...

MRI, doctor visit, hospital in a blink of the eye...

Get ready this is a long post.

So, as many of you may or may not know I have been having a horrendous time with the peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage) in my feet and we have had even more trouble finding the right way to manage the pain. We have tried all of the usual neuropathic medications but to no avail. I will say that in most cases the medications tended to give some relief albeit only temporary. We ended up with the last alternative which is analgesia. Now the type of analgesia I'm talking about tends to be a bit stronger than Panadol (Tylenol to those of you in the in the US). The analgesia I'm talking about are opiate based pain relief. You know the ones I'm talking about, the big guns or party favours if you like for those of you living in slightly more metropolitan areas such as LA, Sydney, London, New York, Dallas, Paris, you get the idea. Not that I'm suggesting that any of my loyal readers (all 6 of you) would every think of taking said drugs as anything more then appropriate pain management. I'm sure that most people would never every see these drugs as anything more than pain management much less a form of entertainment. Would they? Anyway, we did keep one of the neuropathic medications to take along with the pain relief as we felt we would get better coverage over the pain.

In the end the pain still won. I was having what is called breakthrough pain which is what it sounds like the pain actually breaks through the pain relief ceiling being provided by the drugs. On average these breakthroughs happened three times a day and some times more. The pain lasted around thirty minutes but it could last for an hour or more and during those periods of breakthrough pain I would score the pain level a 5-8 out of 10. When I wasn't in one of those periods I would still have an occasional zing of lighting run through my foot or my feet would suddenly feel like they were on fire but if those things didn't last long I just ground my teeth and rode them out. Also because the nerves are messed up I don't feel the ground so well meaning that even thought I get this pain my feet at the same time my feet are are numb. Go figure???That's why they call it nerve damage.

Now that we are all up to speed, and I apologies for boring to those of you who know that part of the story, let's talk about what happened when I went up to Sydney for my MRI. So the pain was totally out of control and by the time we went to Sydney to have the MRI done and to get a review by the specialist neurologist, I was taking 60mg of Oxycontin SR twice a day. Oxycontin SR is the extended release formula of oxycodone so you get relief over 12 hours opposed to a sudden rush of pain relief like you get from oxycodone which is taken like every 4 hours. The problem as I said earlier is the pain was breaking through between doses. Anyway, we arrived in Sydney on Monday night and the test was scheduled for the next morning. We went up to the hospital at 11:00am and handed in the appropriate paper work, which I had filled in prior, to the out patient desk and sat down. I was having a few claustrophobia issues ever since my little trip to the ER a few weeks back when I couldn't breathe and as many of you might know an MRI machine can give people a kind of oh say casket like feeling, yeah that's it, like being in a box that you can't get out of and definitely not the place for a claustrophobic. They even ask you on the pre-test form rather or not you have issues with claustrophobia. As a pre-caution I took 20mg of Valium to calm my nerves. I told the women who was giving the test what I had taken and she said she thought it was a bit excessive but what ever it takes, honey. In the box I went and half way trough the woman who had been occasionally talking to me through a speakerphone within the machine finally said she was going to quite asking me if I was alright because I was snoring to much. Hmm??? guess the Valium worked.

Test all done and it was off to the neurologist for his review of the whole situation. I've been seeing this doctor for a few years now for this problem and he is the best that I know of and I trust him. He did his usual exam and looked at the results of the MRI, which were inconclusive naturally and of no help what so ever other than to tell me that I have a bit of arthritis in my lower back. Hell, I could have told him that. I'm then one who groans every morning getting out of bed and it ain't because I don't want to get up. So then he says " When do you fly back to Hobart?" We said "Day after tomorrow" which his reply was "Ow (big pause), because I think it would be best if I admit you into hospital so we can deal with this properly." James and I looked at each other and just turned around an said "If you think it's best we'll do what we need and we'll go from there." And, that is how I ended up spending the next  ten days in hospital.

Now, I think that's enough reading for your poor bleary eyes at the moment, not to speak of my poor fingers. I will tell you all about what happened in the hospital tomorrow. It's a long post too, but just all sorts of fun. I guarantee. I hope some of you weren't expecting to hear about the whole thing because I am having a hard enough time typing this as it is, I mean you think 60mg of Oxycontin twice a day is bad Hmm??? you ain't seen nothin' yet. You'll understand tomorrow. Until then Enjoy...

Who am I???

I saw this over here and thought it would be fun.

*** THE EVERYTHING TEST ***

There are many different types of tests on the Internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test. We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Here are my results:

PERSONALITY
You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are innovative (57%).

STEREOTYPES
Prep (85%)
Punk Rock (67%)
Old Geezer (67%)

LIFE EXPERIENCE
Sex (52%)
Substances (30%)
Travel (38%)

POLITICS
Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 46% of the time.

SOCIOECONOMIC
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 100% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated R. By the way, your hotness rank is 62%, hotter than 55% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST

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