Hello peeps,

Well, if isn't a doggone Christmas miracle, that"s what it is a great big ol' Christmas miracle. That is, if you can have a good ol' fashioned Christmas miracle in March. What the hell it's my blog and I can have Christmas when ever I damn well please. And what just may that miracle be? The answer would of course be that, I' m actually posting something to this blog. As life usually does, it has tangled me up in a big ol' knot. (BTW, I have no idea why I find it necessary to use the abbreviation of the word old but maybe I'm just in one of those good ol' boys state of mind. Anyway moving on...) So, back to life tangling me up in a big ol' ball. Life has indeed tangled me up and because of it, along with some just good ol' fashioned laziness, I have been severely short in the area of blog posts. I even missed the very last 12 of 12 and I loved the 12 of 12 posts. I do have, even though I don't need one, but I do have some good reasons for not posting and they included everything from work commitments to important family matters. At the end of the day the biggest web tangled bit is a family matter, which revolves around my mother's cancer.

Just before Christmas I called my mum to check-in with her to see what was new on her end of the world and also to hear what the families" Christmas plans were and what specifically she was doing for Christmas. I worry about my mum, especially since dad passed away in 2006. I know mum is a strong women and that she can take care of herself but I know, through personal experience, what it is like to suddenly find yourself all alone after your partner-in-life passes away. And it is especially hard during the holidays after the loss of your spouse. Anyway, I thought all I was going to do is get an update on the holiday plans instead I got an ear full, which later became a head full, of my mum telling me that her cancer had spread to her lungs. Mum had a fairly large melanoma removed in 2006 and for all concerns she had nothing else to worry about, boy were we wrong.

So since my last post, that particular part of my life (that being mum's cancer) has taken over my every thought and has made life extremely difficult trying to find enough time to spend with my mum. The biggest problem is of course approximation. With mum living on one side of the world and me on the other, it makes it really hard to get over there to be with one another. It's not like I can just call her in the morning and ask her if she would like to meet me for lunch somewhere, because no matter how hard we try or how much we would love to have lunch with each other, it's just not going to happen. So what to do? Mum was offered a cancer treatment, actually the only one of two treatments available, that she can take to help slow the cancer's progression. Mum's doctor has been very specific in telling her that this treatment is not a cure and for that matter there is no cure for her type of cancer period. Saying all of that I decided that I needed/wanted to be with my mum whilst she went/is going through this treatment. The actual treatment consists of four individual IV infusions over the course of twelve weeks, one infusion every 3 weeks.

After talking to my boss I was able to arrange some time off to fly back to the states to see my mum and to help her in anyway I can during the time that I am here. I also wanted to be able to give my big brother a small break from helping my mum whilst I am here. Mum is handling the treatments and more importantly the side effects from the treatments, pretty good so far. This specific treatment is not the traditional chemo because traditional chemo does not work on the type of cancer mum is currently battling. In fact as far as mum's treatment goes this is her only option and once these four doses are done and after she has a new PET scan to see if the treatments had any affect on the spots on her lungs and to make sure the cancer has not spread they docotor will let her know if she can have another round of the treatments. If they find she needs the treatment again she can have one more set of four infusions and then that"s it she can't have any more. It should be noted that each one of her infusions cost $30,000. That's right Thirty Thousand dollars for a grand total of $120,000. We have no idea how much mum's insurance is going to pay and how much they are going to expect her to pay. We will,cross that bridge when we get there. We will just take this one thing/day at a time. The biggest problem is that I am going to have to go back home and go back to work soon. My boss/work has been extremely generous letting me have all of this time off especially seeing that I have actually only worked there for 2 months so far. But I need to go back shortly before they give my job away. I'm not completely sure when I have to leave I'm just waiting on an email from my boss.

That kind of sums up what's happening in my life but I just wanted to catch up with everyone. I also wanted to mention that I am going to take part in a shirt around the world for charity event started by one of my blogger friends. This blogger actually makes his own Hawaiian print shirts and I have to say he makes some really cool shirts. He has a real knack when it come to choosing the fabric he uses to make the shirts. So, I am apparently up next to receive the shirt. All I have to do is take a picture with me wearing the shirt, then post the picture on this blog.I will then post the shirt on to the next person in line to wear the shirt. So they can do the same thing on so on. 30 people have already taken part in this little project and as an added bonus there will be donations made to various charities for every person who wears the shirt. If my calculations are correct close to $3,000 has been donated. Now that, is a very special Hawaiian shirt and I'm happy to be a part of the fun.

That's all for now, just be on the look out for pictures of me and the shirt. I'm sure I will look stunning in the shirt and I'm even more sure that by the time the shirt arrives I will also have something else to write on this blog especially some good new about mum. Fingers crossed... Until then take care and be safe...

Waiting and the unknown...

Hubby just left to fly up and see hi mum. They found out yesterday that the cancer she originally had in her bowel has now spread to her lungs after originally spreading to her liver. As to be expected hubby is very upset. The thing that has been the hardest is the waiting for the inevitable. Cancer is a strange thing sometimes it sneaks up on someone and takes them quickly, and others can get sometime like a few weeks or months and others just hard to tell. Hubby's mum fell in the realm of months. However, she has defied those odds and has been battling for just over three years but it seems that as of just recently the cancer has become more aggressive.

All of the waiting and not knowing when or how bad this will get is taking a toll on hubby. sometime I think it's better if the loved one or dear friend is taken quickly. You may not have been able to say goodbye or I love you, but at least you are not faced with watching the person you care so much for slowly wither away. It's important to remember that someone can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. So you need to always remember to never let a day go by without telling that person how you feel about them. I know that when ever hubby or I leave the house we always say I love you because I would hate to think that something might happen and I didn't get that chance to tell him how I feel about him. Also, believe me when I say that it is the most horrible experience watching a loved one die slowly in front of your eyes because I've been there twice in my life.

I've told hubby he needs to make the most of this time with his mum and that any chance he gets he needs to go up and spend time with her. So, off he went this am and we are left to wait out the unknown. I apologise for such a dreary post but I needed to write about this to feel a bit better.

Not a good week...

You know I'm trying to think why I post right now. It seems that all I ever post is about are the bad things going on in my life. I'm sure it makes for lousy reading. Well okay the last post was a good one but this one won't be

I got a call from my mum the other day and it seems that she has gone to the doctor for a check-up to have a look at a growth on her foot. Well it has come back as malignant melanoma. She is having surgery on Tuesday and at the same time they are going to do a scan to see if has spread. All I can say is I will wait to see what the doctors say after the surgery and then we will go from there. If you could send my mum some good thoughts I would appreciate it. I'll post more when I know more.

All quiet on the not so western front...

...or eastern front depending on which way your flying to get to us here in the land down under. I'm sorry I have been a bit slack in post as of late but we have been keeping a low profile on this end of the earth. The reason being is that James' mum's cancer has turned into not such good news. The doctors were planing this huge operation which given James' medical knowledge we weren't so sure for 1) they could even do that kind of surgery and 2) if his mum had the surgery it would have been a strong possibility that she would have never survived. None the less even knowing this his mum said she wanted the surgery.

A week and a half ago James' mum had one of a battery of tests and small investigative procedures looking at various areas of her system to see if the cancer had spread. This time they were looking to see if there was any spread and involvement in her liver. James went up last week to spend a couple of days with his mum as he will do more often over the coming months and understandable so. Anyway, he actually had not told his mum he was coming because she of course would have told him not to come and that when she really needed him she would definitely tell him. Given his mum's attempts to have James stay at home so as not to disrupt his work schedule, studies and his life in general; James just figured it would be best to surprise her. As it came out his timing was great because came to find out his mum was going to see the oncologist the day after he arrived to see her. She was going to get the results of the liver scan/test thingy. James would then be able to explain anything his mum didn't understand from the results and also then be able to answer any questions she might have when she was back at home.

To make a long story short. they found spots on his mum's liver, so the cancer has spread. This of course means the surgery is off and now it's just a matter of trying to give his mum whatever we can to fight against the the war that is and will be raging within her both physically and mentally. His mum is being very stoic about the whole thing and it's what we would have expected knowing his mum's general demeanour. James is actually quite calm. I think once again with his medical background he is in some ways shutting down the emotional side of all this and is looking at the situation from a clinical stand point. Now that's not to say he is being all cold and heartless. He could would of course never do that to his mum. He just needs to sometimes be clinical so he will be able to give his mum the best information and advice he can give her when she asks. As it also happens James has started his Masters degree in Adult Education and that goes a long way when it comes to a form of distraction.

So to wrap this real bummer of a post we are concentrating a lot on home and life in general. In my case I suppose not writing as many posts is wrong and I should be writing even more so not unlike James and his school work I can distract myself. We are both trying very hard to ignore the big pink elephant in the corner of the room. Thing is; it's not going to go away and we know it.

Here we go again...

Alrighty then, now that we are pasted the whole countdown excitement, it's time to get back to some regular posts which has to be a good thing, right? I mean you know how brilliant I am at writing jaw-dropping, earth shattering, colour-laden, mind-numbing and down right interesting posts, don't you? Given that knowledge I wanted to wait a day or so to let you come down from the high I'm sure that many of you were on from the unveiling of the countdown surprise. So let's get to a new nail-biting post.

Now do you remember a little over a year and a half ago when all at the same time I was having such a hard time with my feet, our cat had to be put to sleep, my dad died, and James' mum found out she had bowel cancer. You don't remember? Well it doesn't matter because I've just reminded you. Anyway, since then I have found a medication regime that keeps my feet pain at a minimum, we got a new cat, albeit she has issues but let's not go there, my dad unfortunately is still gone but my mum is doing better and moving forward and last but not least James mum finished her 6 months of chemotherapy and was given the all clear. Things are finally getting back to normal.

Well, normal that is until two weeks ago when we got a call from James' brother. I watched and listened to the phone conversation between James and his brother and heard James say things like "Oh no" and "Oh John". All I could think about was that John's dog had passed away, which would have been his second in the past few months. Both dogs were getting up in years so it's not like it was a surprise when the first one passed away. So after James hung up the phone I of course asked what had happened and to my surprise it wasn't the second dog, nope not even close. It was about James' mum. Her cancer has come back!

That's right the cancer is back and this time it's angry. Here we go again. James spent this past week up in Sydney spending time with his mum and helping getting things organised. She is going to have major surgery again which will include her receiving chemotherapy during the surgery itself and then another two days worth right after the surgery while she is still in hospital. She doesn't have a choice about the surgery. Well she does but the other choice isn't such a positive. She was told if she didn't have the surgery she is looking at 6-12 months at best.

James is being very calm about all of this and I think in a way he knows he needs to be because this time it's game on and he will need to make the best of the moments he has with his mum. She goes to the oncologist on this coming Thursday at which time they will discuss what is exactly going to happen and when it will happen. We expect the surgery will be scheduled within the next two weeks. James will be flying up the night before the surgery and plans on staying a few weeks after the fact to help out as best as he can. I will be staying here on the home front holding down the fort. I'm not even going to mention that while all of this is happening James' dad has been in and out of hospital with a nasty infection in his leg that is going septic. Good thing on that note is his dad gets out of the hospital today.

So, that's the newest thing happening in our neck of the woods. All I can say is life happens and as we get older this is how it plays out and it's never any fun. All we can hope is to weather the storm and hope that at the end of it we make it out to the other side. Until next time...