A small break...

Hello one and all. I'm going to have to take a small break from posting as there is a lot going on right now in our life. My hubbies mum is very unwell and it looks like we are getting to the point that this chapter in our life is coming to an end. So, as I said due to this situation I need to focus my attention and energy on family. I will return to posting after all of this returns to normal or at least as normal as possible. I hope you will indulge me this break and that you will keep and on checking in with my blog watching for my return. For all of you that have been following these recent events and have sent me your kind words and thoughts I say thank you because they mean a lot to myself and my hubby. I'll see you soon and I will continue to make small updates on Facebook in case you are wondering what is currently happening. Until my next post I say to you take time to enjoy life as it is precious and sometime very fleeting. See you soon.

Ten days....

...since my last post that is. As usual I have no excuse for not posting, but as I've been told by blogger friends and others. "It's you blog and you can blog if you want to or not". Apparently I've gone for the "or not".

There's not much going on around here at the moment. You know I posted pictures of the daffodils recently, and there are still more blooming, well I thought that Spring was on it's way but as usual we're in the middle of what hopefully will be a quick cold snap. There was supposed to be a huge dumping of snow on the mountain. I'm going to have a look this morning and if there is a lot of snow, I'll take a picture to share. It never fails that just when you thought you are in the clear, something comes along to mess it up.

Other news has to do with the various on going issues here. Hubbies mum is still very ill. He is probably going to go and stay with her and his dad for a few weeks. It will help them a lot and it will give him a bit more time with his mum. I still have not heard anything about when my hand surgeries, technically it will be wrist surgery but either way I've not heard anything about when they will happen. So I sit and continue try to keep my hands from going numb and also stop doing things that make them go numb like typing. Hmmm, maybe that's why I've not posted lately. I could so use that as an excuse but I won't because the truth is pure laziness on my part.

Well that will about do it for now but I'll be back, who knows maybe sooner more than later. Until then take care and enjoy...

In the mean time...

...and while you're waiting. I thought I'd wish my friends and family a very Happy Halloween. As I've mentioned in the past, Halloween is not celebrated here in Australia, but in recent times there has been a push to begin celebrating the holiday. Some of the stores have Halloween displays and there are even a few Halloween parties being held, mostly by adults. I don't care one way or the other if Halloween becomes a holiday that is celebrated here but if and when it does I hope someone gives me enough notice so I can have some candy on hand for those kids that are about to experience the best reason to go door to door in the neighbourhood and beg for food and by food I mean candy, which to a kid is the same thing. Anyway, to those of you celebrating Halloween I hope you have a fun time.

As for the hospital story, I'm getting to it but remember it will be a very long post so don't blame me when your eyes start to bleed half way through reading the post. It will be the next post you will see from me. Until then...

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...

I read some where that Blogger is stopping people from posting due to some spambot technical malfunction thingymajig or something like that. Anyway, I just wanted to see if this thing was working and it looks like my end is working okay. Sorry to hear others are having trouble. I hope they get their's fixed soon. OK well, I can get onto my regular Friday Night at the Moves post which I forgot to post earlier. It will be a day late and a dollar short. So sue me. I'll post it in a little while.

I'm still waiting...

...or maybe I'm not. Maybe there's not enough of you out there that want to leave me a suggestion/comment as to what I might write on my blog. I guess that speaks volumes. Maybe I'm just being a big baby and throwing a tantrum because no one wants to play with me. Well except for that one guy and maybe he should distance himself as he wouldn't want to be known as the guy that played with the kid no one else wants to play with because he doesn't fit in. Don't get me wrong this is not a pity party even if it sounds like one, believe me I learned to play with myself a long time ago. (HaHa I made a funny)

Maybe I shouldn't have expected anymore of a response than what I got and it was my fault for expecting/assume that people would respond. Maybe as I said before in an earlier post I am just a bitter, angry, jaded old man that was trying to be part of this whole blogging thing. Maybe I'm just not cool enough. I've never posted any pictures of hot, lean, ripped, half naked men with sweat pouring off them in all the right places. I don't talk about all the kinky sex or dates I've had in the past few weeks/days. At the same time I don't tear into the current administration in control of the USofA. Although mind you I have plenty to say but to be honest it's all been said before by so many other bloggers all saying the same things so who needs one more blogger to rehash the same old news. Maybe I'm just not a good enough writer to come up with witty repartee and double entendres to fill a few paragraphs.

To be honest with you I don't know what I'm waiting for, and I probably never will. As I said I could start showing half naked pictures pictures, begin writing huge rants on Bush Jr. trash Madonnas latest CD or even write up some of my sexual escapades (believe me you don't want to know as they are way to vanilla) and really it's all been done before. So why bother? I might as well just keep putting out my plain nondescript stuff about everyday life, as boring as it may seem to many but in reality it's what most of life is about. At the end of the day I write about what is happening in my life and if that's boring to you, then I can't help you. But don't say I never gave you the chance to have me write something else .

You tell me what to write...

So here's the deal as usual I'm having a huge dose of writers block so I've decide to turn to you my loyal reader, fans, friends, buddies and yes even those of you that occasionally pass this way by accident to tell me what to write about. What do you want to know? For example, would you like to hear about my coming out, my first gay date, or what it was like growing up going to catholic school with old bitter nuns. Maybe you'd like to hear all about the time I had sex in the parking lot (no never mind I forgot my mom reads this too. Sorry mom believe me that sex thing in the pool never happened. Really never, not even once.)

Let's see what else might you want to know. You could maybe ask me about how I met my current husband and ended up here in the land down under, although that could be a really long story that would have to be broken up into several post or I would have to leave out a lot of the juicer parts. Maybe you'd like hear me rant and rave on about what it's been and has been being a jaded cynical old man living with HIV for 22 years (no that one's even to depressing for me). Alternatively you might have a list of odd lot questions you'd like to ask. I'll take those.

Anyway you get the idea. You ask what you want or tell me what/you want and I in return will attempt to give you a nice readable post full of witty prose, edge of your seat stories that will have you asking how did he ever mange his way out of that, or at worst you'll get the answers to a list of things you never knew about me nor ever wanted to know but will have to read anyway because someone else wanted to know and I promised to answer.

Put on your thinking caps or just steal one of the examples I gave earlier and ask away. As I said I'm open for any suggestions, except for the sex in pool thing. You can ask me anything you want. You can leave your suggestions or questions in the comment box or if the question list is too long or if you wish to remain anonymous you can always send me your suggestions via email me at agardner@ozemail.com.au. I'm waiting....

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty....

...that's what I am when it come to posting. I don't think I've ever gone this long in between post. Anyway, I'm here and all is as OK as it's going to be. We have really been lying low recently due to what is happening with James' mum. She is trying to cope with her cancer and the new doses of chemotherapy but it's really tough. James is going up to see her on Saturday and will stay a few days to talk things over with her. It's not easy for him with us being here on the island but it's only a short hour and 45 minute flight up to Sydney and we are getting real cheap airfares. Unfortunately, I don't go with him to lend support but someone has to watch the house and the cat. We could put the cat in the cattery and the house is alarmed and such but the cost factor starts sinking in and with James going up every few weeks it is becoming really expensive. I'm not saying his mum is not worth the expense but James is really the one that needs to be there and that expense is never in question. We think she really wants to quite the chemotherapy and just let whatever happens, happen. It's a tough decision but at the end of the day it is her decision and we will support her as best we can. James will have a long talk with her this time around and we will see what we will see.

As for the two of us it's just the much of the same. James continues his Masters degree and he got his first assignment back with a really high mark. They grade differently here but in the end it was a really good mark. He was very chuffed (that's "happy" to my American friends). I knew he would do alright. He always does and he puts so much effort into his work. As for me well not much is happening other than I'm trying to get my head around my new medications. They are really making me so sleepy. I mean I fall asleep anywhere at the drop of a hat. James and I have been out at breakfast and he will be talking to me and the next words out of his mouth will be "Your going to fall asleep aren't you?" and he's right. It's not because I'm bored with his conversation as that would never be the case (OK there was that one time but he really was just rabbiting on and to be honest I can't even remember what he was talking about that's how boring it was. Sorry sweetheart) Anyway, I just start to nod off at the most inappropriate times so I guess it was best that I gave up driving. However giving up driving really makes things difficult because I then have to depend on James to take me everywhere Now you might say why not walk. Well first of all walking really long distances make my neuropathy act up so I try not to do much of that. Secondly, we live on top of this really big hill and going down is easy but coming up is another thing all together. We tried walking up it once right after we fist moved here and now even James won't walk up the hill and he goes to the gym every other day.

The only other thing exciting is the weather if you can call that exciting. Fall has surely taken hold and it looks like winter just might be a cold one. This morning is our coldest morning so far. The current temperature outside at our house is 25.7. So I've got both fireplaces going and a few oil heaters on in the bathroom and in the bedroom. We have closed off the guest bedroom as we are not expecting any guest any time soon. It gets so cold in there we could hang a side of beef in there and we also have a back up if the refrigerator ever breaks down.

Well that's about it for me. I know getting a break down on what is happening around here can be pretty boring but I promise I have a really interesting post coming soon and it is based on a recent post I read elsewhere. I have to basically come up with a list but I'm not going to tell you what the list is. You will just have to wait and see. I hope to finish the list by tomorrow so you won't have to wait to long. Until then enjoy...

I have not left the building...

...Contrary to popular belief, okay no one really thinks I'm gone but some people may wonder if I'm okay. Just to let everyone know I'm doing just fine. I've just been a little distracted as of late and like many of you I have found that there is little time to focus on sitting down and writing up a witty, thought-provoking post to keep each and every one of you enthralled and maybe even glued to your seat waiting for the follow up post. Besides, how many times do I write a post like that anyway? I mean really, you're usually lucky if I drag some 50 question meme out or if I look up some absurd word and post it with an esoteric quote by some dead person. I mean now that's a post. NOT...

With that said, I have been out of pocket recently as we have been up to Melbourne (we went to see Cyndi Lauper) and back a few days ago and now we have house guest for the next 5 days which will occupy even more of my/our time. I just didn't want anyone to worry. (Hi mom!) The only other exciting thing happening at this end of the world is that the carpenters have been in to measure up the cabinet space and they are finally building our new kitchen cabinets as I type. Well, there not building today as it's Saturday but you know what I mean. Hopefully within the next two weeks or so we should have the kitchen finally finished and then all we have to do is call the painter and the renovations will be complete. It's taken 3 months so far and adding the time for the cabinets to be finished it will all up be 4 months that we have been living semi-camping style. Not that I have anything against camping, in fact I like camping except I believe it is meant to be done outside in the woods by a lake and not within the confines of my home. In the end It camping or no camping will be so very nice to get my kitchen back.

Other than that nothing else is that exciting around here so maybe it is for the best that I have nothing to write as it would be like watching paint peel and you wouldn't be watching it you would be reading it, which is sort of the same thing I suppose since you need to use your eyes to do both things. I think I'm rambling so I'll put you out of your misery for now and who knows I may come up with witty story to relay or something extremely fascinating will happen while our houseguest is here and if it does I'll be sure to let you know. Oh just as a side note, it looks like autumn has arrived here in Hobart town just a little early as we have had snow on the mountain for two days and just maybe it's a sign that your spring is around the corner so hang on there.

And last but not least today marks the passing of nine years since James and I decided to make something out of our friendship and as of now nine years later I can tell you that we are still the best of friends and as an added bonus along the way we have discovered that it is very possible for two men to live together and love each other in a very real, deeply committed and caring fashion not unlike the relationships that are all around us except for the fact that those relationships consist of a man and a woman. It's not that we ever had any doubt but I just wanted to point that out because people say it's not possible and either I'm delusional and/or the past nine years never happened and even though I'm on huge amounts of pain medicine for my neuropathy and I have been known to make a few things up in my head the one thing I do know for sure is that I love James and always have and always will and no one will every be able to tell me otherwise much less take that feeling away from me just because they don't think it's normal. So here's to my husband, Happy anniversary sweetheart! I Love You!

I'm just sayin'...

Where am I? Who am I?

No, I don't have amnesia, I just feel a bit lost especially about this blog. I'm having one of those moments again where I'm trying to figure out what to write or even why I keep working at this thing. To be honest that's a big part of it; keeping a blog is work. I mean trying to think up witty things to post for those people that stop by is not an easy task. And then of course I start feeling guilty if I go a few days without writing something. I just don't know. Lets look at it this way, I'm supposed to be doing this for myself and rather or not I write something of interest and by chance also make it witty or I write nothing at all should be totally up to me. So, if I understand that it's my blog and I'll write if I want to then what's the problem? Maybe there isn't a problem.

The fact remains I'm not the most interesting of writers. I'll never be witty like Mark, Joe or Dirk. I'm just me and at the end of the day I'm resigned to the fact that this is a boring blog and the only reason I do it is so that occasionally I can let my family know what's up with my life and on rare occasions I post some long languishing list of things I like and dislike as if anyone wants to know. I'm not writing this so someone will comment and say "Hey don't be so hard on yourself". I don't really care. I just want to rant and once again you, the reader get to read a bunch of tripe. I've done it before and I'm sure I'll do it again.

Anyway, as to the question of where and who I am. I'm still here in the land down under and I'm still me, a 49 year old guy who has been HIV+ for 21 plus years and I'm looking forward to my 50th B-day this year. I have a loving partner whom I have been with going on 9 years. He loves me and I love him which works for the both of us. We have a nice home (with no mortgage) plus an apartment in reserve in Sydney (again no mortgage). (The houses really belong to my hubby but he lets me say they belong to us) I never have to worry about being homeless. I have a small amount of money in savings, although it is a very small amount that I have worked at saving and it won't take care of me in my old age retirement (if I get there), but it's nice to have a little money in savings to feel good about. We have a few close and cherished friends who we can depend on and I am grateful to have them. All in all I suppose life is not so bad.

So, what do I have to complain about? Well, I do have the neuropathy problem with my feet which keeps me in pain. I still take 12 pills a day because I continue to try to keep HIV from winning and killing me. I worry about my mum who lives half way around the world and at the end of the day I can't just pop over to see her or be there in a second if she needs me. I miss seeing my daughter and my granddaughter, especially miss seeing my granddaughter grow up. And last but not least we have a rare hermaphroditic cat who fights constantly with all of the other cats in the neighbourhood because she/he or they can't decide if she/he is just being butch or just a plain bitch.

At the end of the day I'm alive albeit boring I'm here and for better or worse here I will remain. Read it if and when you want and I'll write if and when I want. Thanks for letting me ramble and besides it's a post for better or worse.

The human body...

I'm still going through a slow period when it comes to thinking up things to post. Hopefully soon this dry spell will end and I will once again be able to regale you with my brilliant writing skills but until then here are a few fast facts about the human body maybe one or two of the items will be something you did not know. Then again you may not care about any of it. Read what you want....

• The length from your wrist to your elbow is the same as the length of your foot.
• On average, people can hold their breath for one minute. The world record is seven-and-a-half minutes.
• Your heart beats 101,000 times a day. During your lifetime it will beat about 3 billion times and pump about 400 million litres (800 million pints) of blood.
• Your mouth produces 1 litre (1.8 pints) of saliva a day.
• If the amount of water in your body is reduced by just 1%, you'll feel thirsty
• You'll drink about 75,000 litres (20,000 gallons) of water in your lifetime.
• A person remains conscious for eight seconds after being decapitated (this I find very disturbing)
  
• Unless food is mixed with saliva you cannot taste it
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth.
• On average, you speak almost 5,000 words a day - although almost 80% of what you say is to yourself. (that explains a lot)
  

Lazy is as lazy does...

I have not posted in a few days and it all comes down to just plain laziness or just plain boredom. I will post something this weekend I promise but until then I wanted to let you know how lazy I am. Hence this post to tell you that. I have no idea what I going on about, but it's a post. :)