Memories...

Two years ago today my dad passed away and even though the pain has eased, I will never forget. My mum is alone now and I worry about her so very much but I know that my dad will watch her and for the hard things I know that she will find the strength to move forward because he wants her to keeping moving.

I love you dad
and
I miss you very much

More things you don't and shouldn't know about me...

...but I'm going to tell you anyway. This meme has been making the rounds and even though I'm not writing the whole post I'm at least coming up with the answers and that has to count for something. Right? Oh well even if it doesn't I don't mind because it's the best I'm going to do at this point in time. It is either this or another flower of the week, because we got things blooming left right and center, but mostly in the back yard. I will post new flower pictures in the next day or so. I'm sure the anticipation is going to kill you but until then have fun finding out more sordid details of my life. Mom if you're reading this don't believe every answer I've given. I had to make up a few so that my life sounded a bit more interesting for my loyal readers. As for my loyal readers, all two of you okay maybe there's a few more, it's all true every single answer. Enjoy...

1. Taken a picture completely naked? I don't think I was completely naked but they were. Just kidding but I'm positive I wasn't unless you count the time in answer # 41.
2. Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page? No I don't even have a MySpace/Facebook page.
3. Danced in front of your mirror naked? Sure doesn't everybody?
4. Told a lie? Maybe once, I mean doesn't everybody? Twice now see I did it again.
5. Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes but learned to let it go but at least I had sex with them before I let go.
6. Been arrested? Yes, I was young and foolish.
7. Made out with someone of the same sex? You do know I'm gay right?
8. Seen someone die? Yes, one time to many and I loved them both very much
9. Slept in until 5pm? Not unless I was sick. Oh wait there was that time see # 37
10. Had sex at work? I think I'm going to go with "No comment"
11. Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes at work but it was only a little power nap. That's what I told my boss
12. Held a snake? Hell to the no! I can't even watch them on the television.
13. Ran a red light? Not on purpose
14. Been suspended from school? No.
15. Totalled your car in an accident? Yes and this one is not related to #37.
16. Pole danced? No.
17. Smoked? Yes, for way longer than I want to admit but finally stopped. I still get cravings especially when I'm stressed.
18. Been fired from a job? Yes but it wasn't my fault...really!
19. Sang karaoke? I would not do that to my cat so why would I do it in front of people?
20. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Oh please, where would you like me to start?
21. Laughed until a drink came out your nose? Yes and it still isn't funny.
22. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes and thank God it was during a blizzard because I would have never caught the damn thing.
23. Kissed in the rain? Yes and it was very sexy.
24. Sang in the shower? No see # 19.
25. Given your private parts a nickname? If that's what it takes I'll call them what ever you want :) and I probably would anyway because they have been very good to me.
26. Ever gone out without underwear? I did all the time when I was younger but sadly not any more it's just not the same.
27. Sat on a roof top? Not that I can remember
28. Played chicken? No, I've greased up a turkey but that's a different story.
29. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes see # 37.
30. Broken a bone? Nope.
31. Mooned/flashed someone? Does streaking while drunk and foolish count or how about drunk and foolish while trying to pick up a date in a bar? Not that I have done that but just wondering if it counts.
32. Shaved your head? Yes, and I will not make that mistake twice
33. Slept naked? Every night and every night I pray to God there isn't a fire because that would be cruel and unfair to our neighbours.
34. Played a prank on someone? Sure isn't that why we have friends?
35. Had a gym membership? Yes, twice and it felt good saying I had one but no one believed me. I mean you have seen me right?
36. Cried over someone you were in love with? See # 8.
37. Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? I try to forget that time in my life and surprisingly enough it was pretty easy especially during that period.
38. Had sex today? Not yet.
39. Played strip poker? No.
40. Donated Blood? No and couldn't if someones life depended on it, sorry but it's not my rules
41. Video taped yourself having sex? Once again I was young and foolish and it was during that same period as # 37. I'm sure I destroyed that tape, I think???
42. Eaten alligator meat? Yes and it does taste like chicken but tougher.
43. Ever jump out of an airplane? Why would I do that? Of course it could have happened during that time in # 37.
44. Have you been to more than 10 countries? Lets see, Japan, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Mexico...nope guess not.
45. Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Yes and it should have stopped right there because let me tell you..oh umm...hmm...never mind.

One year passes in the blink of an eye

It is surprising how fast a year can pass. Seems like only yesterday that my mum called and told me my dad had passed away. It is one year ago today that I lost my father and there hasn't been a day since that I have not thought about him. My dad was not my biological father. My biological father passed away 20+ years ago. I called the man that passed away last year "dad" because that is what he was to me. He was the man that raised me. I had lived with that man and my mother since my parents divorced when I was ten. He was the man that gave me the values that I carry with me on a daily basis. He is that man that believed in me. He was the man that struggled with my coming out, but over time became one of my biggest supporters, if not the biggest. That man was proud to call me his son and I will forever be proud to call him dad.

I love you dad and I miss you but I know that you would want me to keep living my life to the fullest because it's the right thing to do and that's what I try to do not only for myself but now even more so I do it a little bit just for you.

A lesson learned...

I was about three or four years old when I was first taken advantage of and this is how it happened. (This is not a repressed memory so lift your minds out of the gutter and read on) It was either summer or spring because no snow was to be found for as far as my little eye could see or remember. I had on shorts and a T-shirt. I looked the part of a typical little blond-haired blue-eyed boy. My blond hair was that kind that was almost white and I endured being called tow-head for as long as I can remember. There were relatives visiting us that day, specifically my grandparents and my mother’s younger sister. Now my aunt had been born late in my grandparent’s life so she was only a few years older than my older brother and I. My older brother is three years older then I and because he and my aunt were both older they tended to play a lot together leaving me out of the loop. I was too young to play in their reindeer games. (Nod to Rudolph)

I remember that day was typical in that I was left to entertain myself while my brother and aunt did their best to get rid of me. At some point they decided that they were going to go to the store to buy some candy and soft drinks with the allowance they had saved up. They also knew I would not be able to go with them as the store was to far away. I too got a small allowance of five cents a week which to me seemed like a fortune. I don’t remember if I asked them or they approached me before they left but I knew I wanted to go with them and they were not having any part of that. I pleaded and whined as best a small child can plead and whine, but to no avail. However, they did relent and finally told me that they would bring me back something from the store if I gave them my money.

Now five cents was not a lot but as I said to me it was a fortune and in those days we still had penny candy so I knew I could get five pieces of some mouth watering sugar coated delicacy. Even at that young age I knew full well that they might be lying to me. I knew that they might keep my money and I would never see it or the candy. I eventually succumbed to the overpowering urge of soon having a giant Jaw Buster, a box of Boston Baked Beans or several pieces of bubble gum which my mother would surely take away from me as soon as she knew I had any of it especially the gum, but until that time I would enjoy every sweet morsel. I gave them my five cents and made them promise they would bring my prize. They of course said they would and off they went to the store.

Now you know as well as I do that waiting for a present no mater how big or small can seem like an eternity to a small child. I mean it was like waiting for my birthday to come around or worse yet waiting for Christmas morning to arrive to see what Santa had placed under the tree. Needless to say I was not very patient. At some point I started to believe that my brother and aunt had just taken my money and worse yet they had bought the candy I requested and were eating it themselves. I had to do something quickly if I was to ever see my money and/or my candy.

It was at that moment that I decided I would walk to the store by myself and find the thieves and confront them red-handed, so off I went. Now once again being that young my perception of time let alone distance was not that great. The walk to the store felt like it was taking forever and I knew the longer it took the more time those two had to eat all that was mine. Years later I would go past my old house and realise that the store was not all that far away but at the same time it was still way to far for a child to walk to by them self. Anyway, I continued to walk what seem like forever and finally made it to the store. The two thieves were no where to be seen outside the store so I went inside to look for them. This was a kind of five and dime store which had a little bit of everything; it was the Walgreen's of its day. I could not find the two of them anywhere in the store. I searched the candy aisles where I was easily distracted by the feast that surrounded me and eventually I gave up my quest to find the culprits. At some point I decided that they could no longer be trusted to bring what had been promised and I decide to get it myself.

I started to pick up a few of the tasty item before me and then thought maybe I had should venture over to the toy aisle to see what I could procure. I found a set of army men and even though I had some at home I knew I could never have enough and it would be easier to set up my battlefields with more men to create an even bigger army. My hands were full and I figured I best get going because I knew my parents would start to wonder where I was. I headed for the door and had actually stepped outside when a car pulled into the parking space right in front of the door. That car was our car and inside it was my mother and she was not happy.

My mother got out of the car and asked me what I thought I was doing. So I told her what tragedy my brother and aunt, her sister had done to me. I got the feeling she did not believe me. She marched me inside to the check out counter and told the lady behind the counter that I had something to tell her. The woman asked who had something to tell her and my mother pointed down to me. The woman leaned over the counter and there I was my arms loaded down with my ill gotten gains. They woman was very surprised to say the least and as my mother started to poke and nudge me I told the woman what I had done. It seems that I was so small that no one had paid me any attention and I had almost walked away with my treasure but unfortunate for me I was the one that got caught red handed.

I was taken home after apologising to the lady at the store even though I still thought I had done nothing wrong. I also had to return my precious cargo even though I thought it was unfair because the way I saw it I had paid for those things and it was up to my brother to give my money for said items to the lady behind the counter. Anyway, I came to find out that those who would steal from and take advantage of a sweet naive boy had arrived back at the house just shortly after I left and it was they who made my parents aware of the fact that I was no where to be found. In the end for all of my trouble I was the one that got punished not so much for stealing but for walking all the way to the store on my own. I would have thought that stealing would have been a much bigger crime. The moral of that story is if you want something done, do it yourself.

I wrote this long laborious story based on a recent comment saying that maybe I needed to write something about my childhood or past life experiences. Maybe I’ll do better next time.

Boy, how time flies...

I saw this meme over here and it has been sitting on my desktop for a while. Since I have not written anything in a few days I figured this was better than nothing. What I find form this list is that I'm pretty consistent and at the same time if you could see in between those years you would never believe what I have done to get where I am today. Not all of it good but not all of it bad either. Anyway, have a read and let your imagination run wild.

20 years ago

1.) How old were you? 29
2.) Where did you go to school? I had not been to school in over 10 years
3.) Where did you work? A large retail department store
4.) Where did you live? Dallas
5.) Where did you hang out? Oaklawn (aka Boystown)
6.) Did you wear glasses? No
7.) Who was your best friend? I hate limiting myself because it make it seem like one friend is better than another.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? None
9.) How many piercings did you have? None
10.) What car did you drive? Ford Fiero
11.) Had you been to a real party? One to many times
12.) Had your heart broken? Yes
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced: Taken

10 years ago

1.) How old were you? 39
2.) Where did you go to school? Still not in school and not planning on going back
3.) Where did you work? I had taken early retirement
4.) Where did you live? Dallas
5.) Where did you hang out? Oaklawn (aka Boystown)
6.) Did you wear glasses? No
7.) Who was your best friend? Gene
8.) How many tattoos did you have? None
9.) How many piercings did you have? One
10.) What car did you drive? Mazda Miata
11.) Had you been to a real party? Still one to many and going strong
12.) Had your heart broken? Yes
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced: Taken

5 years ago

1.) How old were you? 44
2.) Where did you go to school? NO, I told you already
3.) Where did you work? Still retired
4.) Where did you live? Sydney, Australia
5.) Where did you hang out? The botanical gardens and the harbour
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yes
7.) Who were your best friends? Once again don't want to limit myself but if I had to pick Moys, Cin and Hop
8.) Who was your crush? Didn't have one, I was very much in love
9.) How many tattoos did you have? One on my right shoulder
10.) How many piercings did you have? Two
11) What car did you drive? I did not own a car
12.) Had you had your heart broken? Yes
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Very much taken
14.) Any kids? One, a beautiful daughter

Present

1.) How old are you? 49
2.) Where do you go to school? Look,at this age the closest I will come to going to school will be an adult education cooking course, but still haven't gone. Although I signed up but the class was full. Maybe next time?
3.) Where do you work? Still retired
4.) Where do you live? Hobart Tasmania
5.) Where do you hang out? My backyard
6.) Do you wear glasses? Yes
7.) Who are your best friends? Wayne and Lee
8.) Who is your crush? I don't have one unless you count my husband
9.) Do you talk to your old friends? Yes at least once a month on the phone as they all live overseas
10.) How many tattoo's do have? Still just the one
11.) How many piercings do you have? Just one, as I lost the other one of the after having to remove them before a surgery and then afterwards I couldn't be bothered putting them both back in so I now only have the one
12.) What kind of car do you have? I don't drive a lot due to my pain medications but we own a Volkswagen Golf
13.) Has your heart been broken? Yes, but it has mended well
14.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Still very taken and very happy
15.) Any kids? Still just the one, but with a grandchild

Remember...

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